Satire Korner

"Bigotry in the Breakout Sessions: A Play for the 140-character Age"

Scene: conference center breakfast buffet, mid-sized state university, Pacific Northwest. Ben and Ellen are conference attendees awaiting custom omelets assembled by a student employee.

Ben: I don't know about you, but I keep seeing more and more résumés come across my desk from millennials.

Ellen: I know! We have a millennial in our office. He gives me the creeps! But somebody's got to do the social media.

B: That's about all they're good for. My wife said the millennial in her office set up Facebook accounts for three men at the same time and liked it! Can you believe that? I mean, have some self respect!

E: That's the problem, I plum don't know what their values are.

B: Or if they have any at all!

E: Just this past month, five millennials, FIVE of them, moved in across the street. I know they're in there tweeting and snapchatting at all hours of the night. It makes me sick!

B: That used to be such a good street. What a tragedy.

E: We've already called a realtor. A BOOMER realtor.

B: That's about all you can do. Too late for us, unfortunately. My eight-year-old is already asking about Tumblr. Such a loss of innocence. It breaks my heart.

E: Those millennials have no qualms about corrupting our youth. But I'll be damned before one of my kids updates a status or posts content on a computer or mobile device screen!

B: It's a dirty job for dirty people. BTDubs, did you add me on LinkedIn yet?

--TKK Staff