Friday, December 26, 2014

Ahead Of Our Times Redux

Season's Eatings, friends and followers! Today marks a major milestone in the history of the Kreationism Movement. What you are reading on your screen (or printout, if that's your jam) at this very moment happens to be our 400th post! For our kwatercentenary installment of this esteemed blog, what better subject matter than West Downtown--one of the earliest kollaborations between Kreation Korner founders Henry York and Patrick M. Watson. It just so happens we're in receipt of some recently snapped photos relevant to this particular subject. They serve as a follow-up to an exposé we did some years back on an incipient neighborhood branding effort in the district in question. This latest signage revelation provides further evidence that Kreators were telling it like it was early and often by designating West Downtown long before the madding crowd. Now, with 400 posts and counting, looks like the Kreation Krew is still on the cutting edge! Please enjoy the following images and reflect on our gratitude for your continuing support as you do so:

Intersection of 17th and Idaho Sts., facing NW, c. Mar 2006, as seen in West Downtown  

Approximately the same shot, Dec 2014, note the pay phone has been removed

 Pull back for some context

Pull back some more, 17th and Idaho signpost visible

Detail of signpost, West Downtown "placemaking" sign-topper visible. Way to go, neighborhood association. You've really captured the flavor of West Downtown with those several trees and that road surface and bicycle. Nice typeface too--really gritty and eccentric. We hate to stoop to sarcasm but alas, the deed is done.




Saturday, December 20, 2014

Video Korner

The following introduction has been edited for length:

Today, The Korner is thrilled to present...nearly a full calendar year...just some no-name...a certifiable mind-bender...not recommended for the...watch:

Poet's Korner

Haute Lynx

This Man Drank Gasoline from his Car. What Happened Next Will Amaze You.

You Won't Believe What this Celebutante Did, Said, and Wore in their Own Home

Top 8 Headshapes Seen at this Year's Oscars

The 79 Best Ways to Smash Your Phone -- and Lose Weight!

These Dog Pictures Will Appeal to You

The Top 10 Movies that Haven't Been Made that You Need to See Immediately

You Won't Believe How Many Items in Your Office Are Covered in Fecal Matter!

-Tum Cruz

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Poet's Korner

It's been a long time since last we heard from cowboy poet Steed Stetson. Mostly he keeps to himself but given the strife that has received increased visibility in our country of late, he just couldn't remain silent. In the following poem, we are reminded how Steed is confounded by a contemporary world that increasingly rankles his traditional Western values. Oblige:

Last night I turned on the TV
Nothing worthwhile, that I could see
Fear mongers shout and ply their trade
Tell us we must be afraid
So lock your doors and buy a gun
Or maybe two or ten for fun
It is your right, it's self-defense
But me, I find this a pretense
For if you're in the dominant pack
Buildin' an arsenal widens the gap
Choices keep cruelty common
Further enable white supremacist lawmen
They protect and serve the billionaire
The oligarch thriving on class warfare
Obamacare, the scourge of our day
At least that's what the "news" outlets say
They distract us with the wrong debate
Capitalism is what we should hate
A coercive system that harms us
Causin' fights where there oughtn't be a fuss
Call me naive but there should be enough
For us all to thrive it shouldn't be tough
Food and comfort, safety, respect
Things no human doesn't expect
For us all the government should make things right
Instead of just meetin' the needs of rich whites
Maybe I'm just an ignorant cowpoke
But in 2014, too bad it's no joke
That state-sanctioned bullies kill with impunity
And folks live in real fear in too many a city

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Video Korner

The following untitled, unattributed video was discovered earlier today on a memory stick wedged in a front-door handle at The Kreation Korner HQ. It was wrapped in newsprint inscribed with the following quote:

"Every word that is spoken and sung here represents at least this one thing: that this humiliating age has not succeeded in winning our respect." 
--Hugo Ball

Let us all take a moment:

Friday, December 5, 2014

Fiction Korner

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--Jawn Steighmeaus 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Shouted Word Korner

Back in early June of this year, Chris Peebles provided the following track to Boise noise duo BATHSALTS for their multimedia live performance. While such a kollaboration was technically unauthorized under Chris' exclusivity kontract with The Kreation Korner, the resultant audio audyssey is well worth the breach in procedure. Kontract schmontract! Hold on to your butts:

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Poet's Korner

Found poetry, 11/6/14, 4:26 PM, N 9th St, Boise, ID:


Friday, November 28, 2014

Korrespondence Korner

Merry Retail Death Match Day to you all! We here at the Kommune just awoke from a group turchiaroni koma to find the following letter from none other than Gabe Garbiel. Although things finally seem to have stabilized without our resident archivist-cum-documentarian-cum-everyman, there remains a hole in the heart of our organization. As you'll read, however, Gabe may well be with us again very soon. With any luck, he'll be carving the tempehloin roast on the feast day of Santo Kreato next month! Take in:


Saturday, November 22, 2014

Fiktion Korner


"Pride and All Its Use"

I was trying to do this thing right. That's how Ed said I should. But it was like a dog trying to tune a guitar. The thing just wasn't coming off the way I'd planned.

It didn't help that I really wanted no part of the rules of reality. I wanted to feel fulfilled at all times. Or maybe that wasn't the problem at all. Regardless, I was lost and forlorn. Aw hell, I thought. Circumstances ain't the worst, but they ain't the best either. Just that day I'd broke my own phone at work out of frustration or boredom, or. It was something. But I had to make the damn thing work for the rest of my shift, so there was no satisfaction in it for me. Just a tree falling in a forest with no one aroudn to hear it.

And much as I would have liked to just walk out, I coulnd't bring myself to do so. Coward, I thought. Only a coward can't see hisself to a living that suits him. Well, what would I like? A job with my hands, I supposed. But I didn't want to sell nothin, and I didn't want to lie to no one. And that's about the only thing it seems people get paid for these days.

And so I sat. Sipped my coffee, gone cold and making onerous yawps my belly. And when that phone rang, I picked the earpiece up in one hand and the mouthpiece in the other and laid my self down.

-Snap E. Tom, 1966. Originally featured in Songs of Tom: Shorts Stories 1963-1967 (Kastanet Publishing, 1967).

Monday, November 17, 2014

Kwote of the Day

"Mozart, Pascal, Boolean algebra, Shakespeare, parliamentary government, baroque churches, Newton, the emancipation of women, Kant, Balanchine ballets, et al. don’t redeem what this particular civilization has wrought upon the world. The white race is the cancer of human history." --Susan Sontag




Sunday, November 16, 2014

Paid Advertiser Kontent



GRECH, Charles Schwab Tomorrow, 2014. Collage, 12ft. x 8ft.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Musik Korner

Today, the rich and varied tradition of Kreative Musik grows a little richer and more varied. Just this morning, Rasmus Wright recorded and released the following track. He was admitted to the mental health unit at St. Alf's shortly thereafter. According to an oddly morbid hospital staffer, the process of making this single was a mental, physical and emotional ordeal akin to extracting one's own spleen with a Swiss Army Knife. Last we checked, Wright was finally resting and is in good hands. Awareness of the origin of the following tune makes it all the more eerie, but we guarantee it stands up on its own. We wish Ras a speedy recovery and will try to not feel too guilty about allowing his trauma to enrich our lives. Keep your ears peeled:

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Poet's Korner

Sleepers wake! Today we're elated to bring you a sneak peak at an ambitious project Chris Peebles has been working on since at least this past March. Chris started by painstakingly reading a dream journal he kept for the first four months of 2013 into a tablet computer's voice recognition system, which often misheard the dictation. Once the some 22 entries were sufficiently transformed and transmuted by the machine, Peebles moved on to the editing phase--breaking lines and adding punctuation to lend some rhythm and tension to the alternating lucidity and ambiguity of the text. "Generating the poems this way has been as much a process of discovery and excitement for me as it will undoubtedly be for the readers," Chris Peebles said of the project. "Plus it removes the burden of coming up with the words myself, which has become tedious to me of late." Always a pleasure to hear of the latest step in Chris' circuitous yet unflagging Kreative journey. Daydream:

The following is an excerpt from Chris Peebles' Untitled Dream-Journal-Entries-Processed-Through-iPad-Voice-To-Text Project. Anticipated completion date unknown.



Note: This passage is posted as an image file, since the blogging platform fucks up the meticulous formatting of the text. Thanks for your understanding.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Korner Wisdom

If you don't vote, you can still complain.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Musik Korner

Hello, and a Happy Halloween to you! I hope that, in all the festivities, your preternatural fight-or-flight instinctual itch received its attendant scratch in a safe and morally incorruptible manner. If not, no worries! Because, with the gents we're about to introduce, you're in good company.

You may recall the ongoing archival of the Kreative Destruction music label back-catalog. Well, today we bring you a worthy addition to this pantheon of kreation. The Electric Alarm Clock hailed from Secaucus, NJ, their music no doubt infused by the blues bloodline that was and continues to be the Hackensack River. Hitting on the novel and never-to-be-revisited formula of combining traditional American blues with fuzzy distortion and vestiges of the emergent psychedelic scene, The Electric Alarm Clock made no splash whatsoever upon release. We at the Korner believe this to be downright criminal, so we unearth this ineluctable gem for your listening pleasure. Be pleased:

Monday, October 27, 2014

The Society of the Spooktacle

Ghoulish greetings to you this chilly autumn eventide. The air is laden with thick mist and suffused with the funk of rotting leaves trodden underfoot. In this sinister scene, nothing sounds more satisfying than the safety of an interior setting insulated from the specters and spirits outside. Within a familiar inside environment, one can experience the necessary emotion of fear in a controlled, structured fashion. We recommend watching a scary movie or three to accomplish this. Based on a poll of a randomly selected 2% of the Korner staff, here are the films we recommend to fill you with thrills and chills this Halloween season:

Carrie. Dir. Brian De Palma. United Artists, 1976.

Scanners. Dir. David Cronenberg. Avco-Embassy Pictures, 1981.

The Host. Dir. Bong Joon-ho. Magnolia Pictures, 2006.  

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Banner Korner

Are you reading these words right now? Any answer to the aforementioned question -- any utterance, in the positive or otherwise -- means that you are (or were, as perhaps now you've moved onto the next sentence...) Well, if you're still reading, direct your eyes to the top of this blog page, you rube! Our new banner has been escaping your gaze for far too long! A commissioned work by chief kollagier, Boo Merengue, this also marks the first instance of consecutive banners by a single kreationist. Of this work, Merengue says: nothing. Jazzercise:


Saturday, October 25, 2014

Korner Wisdom

"That's not a knife. This is a cantaloupe."

Monday, October 20, 2014

Ripped From The Headlines

The following was observed on the front page of a copy of a major national newspaper of record at a coffee house in Boise, Ida. on Oct. 14 (lightly edited for satirical effect):

Friday, October 17, 2014

Musik Korner

Well, your guess is as good as mine as to how things are still running around here. Granted, the fertilizer-pancake batter that usually greases the kogs of kreation has been running a little thin lately, but that's only because Gabe Gabriel took the password to our Amacorp account with him. In any event, we are happy to bring to you today the first step in what very well may be a new beginning for Kreative Destruction Records. We have no definitive artist name, or any real information, but we nevertheless present to you, here, now, something inarguably real, and we'll include the words that accompany it, as they may be of importance to you as you attempt to take this in for your first time. Spiritualize:




"There will be times when you will walk to a beach, and you will wish that you are a lonely man and that the terrain will reflect this sentiment. But when you arrive you are dismayed that the beach is heavily populated, that the sun is up, and that maybe in that crowd there is another person who is feeling the same as you and you are not really as alone as you'd like to think. -Kreative Destruction Records 2014"

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Komedy Korner

Sometimes I have moments of out-of-body perspective in which the human form, the universe as perceived in relation to the human form and, for that matter, the entire enterprise of existence just seem arbitrary.
--Svetlana Mendoza

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Photography Korner

Hello. Chris Peebles here. I must say I feel out of my element addressing you directly. Customarily, my Kreative endeavors are presented to you on this weblog by Gabe Gabriel. This lends the post that signature Kreation Korner "voice" while simultaneously providing a buffer to protect my charisma. Given our present Gabeless circumstance, however, I am glad to risk compromising my meticulously curated online persona to help ensure that the Korner continues to churn out a steady stream of high-quality kontent. To that end, Dear Reader, I speak to you today of my latest exploits. As you're undoubtedly aware, I've spent the better part of the past year striving towards purer and purer forms of kreation. But recently, I've reached something of an impasse. Sure, I've attained kreative nirvana, as it were. But once the bliss and contentment fleeted away, I found myself hopelessly bored and in desperate need of a new kreative tack. It occurred to me that despite the diversity of my many forms of expression to date, one common undercurrent was always an abiding avoidance of mainstream artistic pedagogies. This can only mean that unconventionality is conventional to me. Therefore, the only unconventional course for me to take at this time is to work towards technical mastery of a conventional, institutionalized artistic practice. I have elected to pursue photography, as it is a captivating, widely-appealing medium and is comparatively cheaper and less involved than, say, metalworking or large-scale environmental installations. Here are a few of my pictures so far, each exemplifying a fundamental photographic technique:

Perspective

Rule of Thirds

Depth of Field

Motion Blur

Frame within a Frame

Night Photography

Half-mouse

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Komik Korner

Call it providence, or just the dull sort of born-again magic that hangs in spots over the environs of Boise, ID, but we are happy to say that our worst fears regarding kontent (or lack thereof) in the absence of Gabe Gabriel seem, in this case, to have been unwarranted. Today, we bring you the work of a new artist, who distinguishes himself by an odd ideological signpost that he calls "Creationism." (We know, wacky spelling, right?) Now, while we at the Korner are by no means fans of outspoken ideology and religion, neither are we types to get off on censorship (which, frankly, would sort of defeat the purpose). So when local man, Larry Garson, proposed that we publish some of his work, we thought we couldn't say no, because we have nothing else to fill this space right now.

Garson's attack is two-fold: somewhat secondarily, he proposes to popularize Creationism through humor. But more important, he says, is improving, by whatever means necessary, upon the work of a so-described "hack" named Gary Larson (eds. note: Larson was a long-standing artist known in some circles for his "Far Side" series). Does Garson's piece achieve either of these goals? We don't really know, and we frankly don't care. We have no dog in this fight, nor are we even going to get into whether we believe said dogs were borne by the results of pure biology, or by a sentient hand. Just look at it already, okay?


Saturday, September 27, 2014

Legends of the Fall

"Does not it invariably transpire that one is unaware of that which one possesses until such possession has flown the coop?" These immortal words of Joni Mitchell have been on our minds lately at The Korner ever since Gabe Gabriel left us in an outsized canary-colored cab of frustration. In the several days that have elapsed since Gabe's hopefully impermanent departure, we have all learned how much we've taken things for granted around the HQ. For instance, correspondences from our fan base the world over don't just magically appear on our desks. It was Gabe muthafuckin' Gabriel who dutifully monitored the info@thekreationkorner.com account, vetted the messages for authenticity, printed them in grayscale to conserve precious toner and then delivered them to the necessary parties. Huey Dood has volunteered to take up the Gabriel mantle, but he has big vintage wingtips to fill. In his first outing this morning as Director of Electronic Kommunications, Huey intercepted the digital image below sent by Kreationist-wannabe Bill Johnson of Secaucus, NJ. Although we don't typically run outside submissions, we are willing to take desperate measures to stave off the impending kreative drought with Gabe Gabriel out of the picture.  The image appears, according to our experts, to be manipulated in some way--perhaps even an amalgam of multiple images. Celebrated pop culture critic Rapaport Graves describes it as a "maelstrom of mass-media iconography serving as an acerbic commentary on the tasteless, brand-saturated internet age. Also, it seems an oddly appropriate bellwether for the autumn season." See for yourself:


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Yard Sale Korner

Greetings, uhhhm, all and, uh -- oh heck, you guys already know the score. Gabe's flown the coop, and while he may doubt the integrity of my presence here, I, Kevin Murdoch, never want to be seen as a sucker fish on the side of the sleek, mako-like Korner. Hey, I look up to the man, and in a way I suppose I was trying to follow in his footsteps, and I guessed I just stepped in it instead. You'd be surprised just how quickly things fall apart around here without Mr. Gabriel. But, I suppose I'm party to this mess, so, like the hung-over partygoer with Bagel Bites crusted to his face, I'll do my best to clean it up.

Trying to get a Korner-ite to stick to a deadline is not even a Sisyphean task -- it's entirely downhill, and basically a pointless effort. We usually just wait for whichever kreationist to pull out of their nosedive and come up smelling roses with a mind/body/soul-blowing work, which as an artist management method has worked better than any other technique we've tried. But see, we're in a pickle here. So, I ran down to Tum Cruz's squarebicle and grabbed the first note I could find off his desk. It looked to be a punchline. Now I could launch into a scholarly dissection of the joke as such, thereby lending this whole post heftier theoretical weight (I did, after all, pen "On the Scatological Aspects of Modern Dating" for POP! Cultural Quarterly), but what the heck, right? This is a hail-mary, so here goes. Hail:

Punchline: To the Richter go the mohels!

-Tum Cruz

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Pause for Effekt

Greetings all, Gabe Gabriel here. Apparently whichever cavalier staff member decided it wise to let slip about our vow of blogospheric silence didn't get the memo that it was meant to be kept for thirty-seven days, thirty-seven being a number whose significance I would no doubt be redundant in explaining. You got that, Kevin?!? I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure it was you. You have no respect for the rules of decorum around here!

So. Okay. Now, we can get started on this business of new kontent on our blog, which I do still dearly love, but boy am I tired of the politiks. OK, Kevin? Do we have your permission? I'd fire you, except that I know you're Chas Murdoch's son, and federal imprisonment or not, that slimy fucker still has suction around here. Yeah, I know. I know! I'm not supposed to be talking about these things. Gabe Gabriel. The glue that holds the adjoining walls of the Korner together. The golden boy. The golden glue that holds everything together and that also makes it sparkly. You're not a great writing talent, they said. Be the editor and archivist instead, they said. Well, just I'll show you. That's it! Consider this my notice! I'm cashing in my sabbatikal points. Word life.
















*Facsimile of the signature of Gabe Gabriel, Kreation Korner Editor and Archivist

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Seven Years In Tiblog

Salutations, faithful Kreationism devotees. Today marks seven years since The Kreation Korner first filled a hole in the blogosphere. It also marks the end of 27 days of intentional silence leading up to this milestone. With each passing day devoid of a new post, our goal was to call to mind in our followers what they were missing and yearning for. After nearly four weeks of this, we figure you're kreative palate is honed and hungry for only the finest kontent available. And our output in our eighth year online promises to be just that! Stayed attuned.

Best,
TKK Staff

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Video Korner

Greetings, Earthling! Today, The Korner presents to you the latest audio-visual tour de force from Chris Peebles. This video--"Wishful Grasping"--has been described by four of five top Kreationism scholars as an inevitable next step in Peebles' increasing awareness of the voidness just beyond the surface of his kreative practice. It also features a soundtrack of atonal acoustic noodling, which Chris developed a taste for during his short-lived kollaboration with Rasmus Wright  last year. We're thrilled to see where the Chris Peebles Odyssey takes us next! Be open:

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Poet's Korner

When Chris Peebles and BLENKO represented The Korner at Portland Zine Symposium last month, they had the good fortune to meet many fascinating artists and craftspeople from a wide diversity of backgrounds and practices. Among them was Roger August Wilcox, one of the luminaries of Stumptown's flourishing poetry scene. Roger was kind enough to let us share a poem from his forthcoming chapbook The River Fuckers, available through Snuffbox Press. Here goes:

"Intimacy Zoo"
I stand in the shower 
the water is made of snakes
they puncture my epidermis 
their venom courses
through my veins 
pumped indifferently 
by the engraved flask you gave me for a heart
it says "it's whiskey o'clock, you're buying."
It rained all week in my bed
the sheets are damp sand dunes
nobody wants to climb them
I collect a clump of the fine grains
press it in my palm
it becomes a text message from you or an elephant
I can't remember
you always said I'd make a shitty elephant

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Video Korner

"In turning, the can continues an inveterate rabble, rivaled in its senselessness only by our own hollow promises and selfish worries."

What do we know about Percy Stankowski? Well, though he remains a fixture at KKHQ, Percy has in the past some-odd years gone a bit quiet on us. But with this, Percy speaks again, through the deft juxtaposition of video-life and sounds-heard. Truth be told, that passage at the top was on the inside of a Snipple Tea cap, but we found it fitting nonetheless. Considering that our request for a word from Percy regarding this piece was met with the spirited and surprisingly athletic hurling of a potted plant out of his edit bay, we'd say it's about the best we can hope for. Perish:

 

Monday, July 21, 2014

Choose Your Words Carefully: A Guest Post

Here is some feedback we received this morning from a Korner reader. We appreciate this level of scrutiny and deeply regret that our kontent, which is intended to liberate, would serve instead to disempower. It is profoundly helpful to get a wake-up call like this every once in a while to challenge us to meet and exceed the highest standards of quality. In the end, we are better off for this sort of examination. It is essential that we acknowledge our responsibility as highly visible Kreationists and not fall into the trap of lazy, reckless ways of presenting ourselves. Take note:

Dear Kreation Krew,

I write today to address a concern about a casual, problematic use of language on The Kreation Korner. Your most recent post ("Video Korner," dated July 20, 2014) mentions an ostensibly female individual referred to only as "sometime muse Mrs. Peebles." This figure isn't even granted the privilege of a first name. Rather, her identity is defined only by her relation to Chris Peebles--who happens to be male. Moreover, as the only other description we receive of her is that she is a "sometime muse," we get the troubling sense that Mrs. Peebles' only function is to occasionally inspire a man. I would have expected more from the usually thoughtful Kreation Korner than to employ language that deprives a woman of her agency and an identity all her own. As one of the world's leading makers and distributors of Kreative Kontent, you ought to respect the power of words and be careful not to allow them to be used as vessels for oppressive patriarchal attitudes.

Sincerely,

Jamie S.
Palmyra, NJ

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Video Korner

During a recent ko-konstruction session (aka "konversation") with sometime muse Mrs. Peebles, Chris Peebles realized that song and dance paved an untrodden stretch of the Kreative byway. Having long sought mediums involving the fewest number of steps between initial internal kreative spark and external record of said spark (aka "art piece"), unchoreographed dance movements accompanied by atonal vocalizations suddenly seemed a compelling approach. As you will find in the following audio-videographical presentation  (aka "video"), Chris' fearless leap into these untested forms of expression is no mere novelty but rather a bridge into the realm of pure Kreation beyond all the distracting abstractions of the konventional world. Grasp in vain at:

Thursday, July 17, 2014

PPZSP (Post Portland Zine Symposium Post)

As you are undoubtedly and acutely aware, the 14th annual Portland Zine Symposium went down this past weekend. We feel it's safe to say that The Korner's first ever tabling at the gathering was an unqualified success! Chris Peebles and BLENKO spread the word of Kreationism vividly and convincingly to indie publishing aficionados of the Rose City and beyond. Their kompetence was especially laudatory given that the Sympo was back-to-back with KreationKon2014: Fun-in-the-Sun Getaway. Good thing there's a direct flight from South Beach to PDX! For an approximate blow-by-blow of the event, get a load of BLENKO's Twitter. This video provides a pretty good overview too:

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Konvention Korner

Where have we been all your life? Candidly, that's between you and your pastor. But we can speak to our absence the past 3.5 weeks. The entire Krew has been realigned from their regular tasks to prepare material and materiel for the 14th annual Portland Zine Symposium. This has been a time-consuming but rewarding process, though not without its challenges--most notably the ordeal of briefing our table representatives, the inattentive Chris Peebles and the mercurial BLENKO. Another hiccup occurred when GRECH used all of our marketing kollateral to build and subsequently burn an effigy of FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler. As luck would and usually does have it however, we found a solution thanks to Gabe Gabriel's acumen as an archive spelunker. He managed to dig up some old promotional items from a previous iteration of The Kreation Korner that, although a tad outdated, will spread the word of our Kause at the Sympo nonetheless. If you're in or around PDX the weekend of July 12 & 13, stop by Ambridge Event Center in the Lloyd District and see us! Until then, enjoy these gems Gabe stumbled upon during our preparation efforts:

Previous Kreation Korner HQ, Downtown Boise, c.1996

Kreation Korner West at the height of the dot-com bubble, San Francisco, c.1999    

Monday, June 9, 2014

Poet's Korner

This automated mobile apparatus will change the world
The way of its production
Will shine the lights on our callous, unGodly inefficiency
For manifold epochs to come

I made it by hands
Once
Now hired hands carry out the task
Of harnessing man intellect
To horsepowers

My name is Henry
And I work in the research and development wing
Of the Ford Corporation

And we'll call this car the Ford Centaur

It is 1991
As good a time as any for a revolutionary thought

-Tum Cruz


Saturday, May 17, 2014

Korner Wisdom

Home is where your stuff is.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Transcontinental Korner: Midwest Edition

Greetings Michiganders, Ohioans and Pennsylvaniards! Today we bring you the latest in our ongoing efforts to spread the word of Kreationism to historically under-served regions of the United States, as we did some weeks ago in North Carolina. This time, we enlisted Chris Peebles to kanvass the greater Great Lakes area--which was fortuitous as this task koincided with his annual college commencement speaking circuit. We received these photos and kaptions from Chris only hours ago:

The Mattress Factory, Central Northside, Pittsburgh, PA

Gypsy Beans & Baking Co., Detroit-Shoreway, Cleveland, OH

Mercury Burger Bar, Corktown, Detroit, MI

If you were referred to The Kreation Korner by a "Boise" zine collected at one of the locations above, please feel free to drop us a line via email or facebook!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Poet's Korner


As a child
probably four
or five
years of age
I remember walking
around the cul-de-sac
thinking that my head
was a vessel
for my mind
that I was
looking through
my eyes
as windows
at the world outside
and was aware of this
and felt that
my experience
of awareness and
consciousness was unique
to me

--Fig Nugent

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Musik Korner

Happy World Intellectual Property Day to you! To kommemorate this annual observance we discovered only moments ago, we bring you the latest single from psychoamericana jongleur Rasmus Wright--an artist who, as it happens, is a vociferous opponent of intellectual property laws. This one's a real rocker:

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Fiction Korner

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

An Important Announcement From The Kreation Korner...

The Kreation Korner takes no responsibility for the previous post, which is undoubtedly the result of an elicit incursion by opportunistic commercial elements. We were the latest kasualty of the Tickerhemorrhage security vulnerability but have since patched it. We're grateful that the damage was self-contained and largely benign. Despite its invasive nature, however, we have opted to keep this GIF up. Regardless of its vector of transmission, this alien post is already forever enshrined in the hallowed ranks of our blog space whether we like it or not. So far be it from us to question its Kreative validity. (PS: Now really is a good time to refinance--interest rates are still low and it's a buyer's market!)

Sunday, April 13, 2014

YOUR NEW LIFE IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER KORNER

exec: THIS IS IMPORTANT! YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS OUT ON THIS ONE-TIME OFFER! CLICK HERE OR YOU LOSE! MONEY SAVED IS PRESTIGE EARNED!!! CLICK THE DANCE-MAN, SAVE YOUR KIDS!://end-doc

Transcontinental Korner

Although Kreationism is undeniably a global movement, there remain regions on this planet where the denizens grope discontentedly in the unkreative darkness. Specifically, the Korner has found very little traction along the Eastern Seaboard of the United States. Although our own Svetlana Mendoza spent much of her early career amidst various underground komedy scenes in the Eastern Standard Time Zone, our visibility in the non-western US has remained sparse at best. Why is there a Kreative deficit in the Atlantic states? Rather than dwell upon a likely unanswerable kwestion, we have decided to look at this weakness as an opportunity! To that end, we sent Chris Peebles as an emissary to Charlotte, North Carolina--a prominent cultural and economic center east of the Appalachians. His primary mission was to lay down some raw, unremitting street poetry--the likes of which the Queen City had never before encountered. We hear his performance in front of the AT&T Long Lines/BellSouth central switch building on Caldwell Street turned more than a few heads and even drew some undivided attention. Along the way, Peebles placed some photocopied marketing materials in several strategic locations to promote the Kause. We apologize if Chris trespassed on the dissemination spaces of others, and we don't begrudge the offended parties, if any, to remove the literature he inserted. It is our sincerest hope, however, that Peebles' efforts will serve as a sonar ping in the Kreative abyssal plain. We hope that if we can establish kontact with even one lone Kreationist in the wilderness, we will have erected a meaningful and enduring bridge between east and west.

Kreation Korner Eastern USA Goodwill Kampaign 
April 2014 - Charlotte, NC  
Promotional Literature Drop Points:

8th & Tryon - Uptown

4th & Brevard - Uptown

36th & N. Davidson - NoDa

Note: If you are in or around Charlotte and were directed to this post by a Boise zine collected at any of the three aforementioned locations, feel free to drop us a line and/or follow us on Facebook. We'd love to hear from you, Sibling in Kreation!        

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Video Korner

A little bird told us (not literally, of course--that would be insane in the membrane) that Chris Peebles presented some of his videos in a former shoe shop next door to an abandoned stag hotel in downtown Boise last week. Although this wasn't an authorized Kreation Korner public event and therefore a breach of Chris' kontract, we're pleased to know he's actively spreading the word and will therefore impose only the smallest of sanctions upon him. Embedded below is the three-poemovie cycle Peebles showed to the 30-odd folks in attendance. May his reprimand by minimal!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Komik Korner

A klassic finally applied to paper, and subsequently pixel, by Hadley Daughterson:

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Kartography Korner

A hearty "hallo!" to you this day. At The Korner, our kontent tends to be delivered via a kreator-to-kreatee one-way road. But that doesn't mean we don't value your input! In fact, we've decided to take komments we've received from our readers and allow them to influence and shape our output. Henceforth, we plan to act upon your requests, suggestions and kritiques at least once (but no more than four times) per year. As our email bag is figuratively bursting at the seams, we've employed a konvoluted algorithm from one of GRECH's dreams to randomly kull out the following kommunique:

Dear Kreation Krew,

I've been a reader for a long time and can't get enough kreative kontent. My friends will tell you I'm a certified Kreation Korner nut! But lately, I find myself at an impasse. I've come to care--or, "kare" if you like--deeply for the Korner and the ever-unfolding saga of its kontributors. So it's unfortunate that my concern is ultimately limited by my complete inability to sympathize with you all in spatial terms. I read in your weblog about "Tsar Mart" this,"HQ" that and other exotic locales in which you live and kreate. Yet I'm at a loss for how these places fit together in a larger kreative ecosystem. This has proved to be a particularly disheartening obstacle to achieving a deeper level of intimacy with the kreative enterprise! Please, Korner. Give me something, anything that might allow me to conceptualize the physical reality of your kause!

Yours in Kreation,
Ronnie Junior Sr.

Well Ronnie, you're in luck. Thanks to the miracle of Good Ol' Maps, we think you'll be able to attain a kreative klimax. Examine:


Sunday, March 23, 2014

Komedy Korner

Query: When a psychologist is attending a gala, what does she wear under her cocktail dress?

Rejoinder: A Freudian slip.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Unfiction Korner

A message from Jawn Steighmeaus:

Howdy friends. I recently returned from a solitary retreat in Desert Shores, CA. The confluence of thick, salty air and eerie, desolate landscape provided the ideal backdrop for revelation and epiphany. And, believe you me, I had plenty of both (65% of the former, 35% of the latter). Perhaps the most notable knowledge that dropped on me came one day during my morning ritual, which involved gazing upon and contemplating the innumerable petrified fish heads strewn along the coarse beach. It struck me like a ton of petrified fish heads that narrative, in any form, serves only as a vehicle for imposing, coercive agendas and narrow, judgmental world views. I suddenly became embroiled in a personal crisis. A contentious donnybrook had erupted in the crowded public square of my soul, as it were. As I drove back to the sun-bleached motel in the rented golf cart, I asked myself, have I been manipulating my readers all these years? Rather than opening their minds to new Kreative horizons, have I been shutting them by insidiously imprinting my own values upon them via the delivery system of my "short fiction?" Obscure as my work may be, it's reckless and injurious nonetheless. Therefore, I've opted to chuck from my practice anything that remotely represents an element of fiction: narrative, characters, plot--hell, even words altogether. It hit me like a thermonuclear weapon in that appropriately apocalyptic moonscape of a valley what the purest, most beneficent form of Kreativity is--something I have dubbed "Colonism" (Doppelpunktismus in Deutsch). It promises to not impose upon, mislead or otherwise harm the reader in any way. The following is the Colonism movement's manifesto:

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Saturday, March 15, 2014

Kandor Korner

Today we bring you a bittersweet "Kandor Korner" from K. Hume O'Henderbaum. Hume passed away peacefully of natural kauses last night at 11:24 PM, three days shy of his 95th birthday. Longtime friend Peter Doe was with him at the end and transcribed his more-or-less final words:

"As the lights grow dim, I take solace and comfort in biology, in the knowledge that I am a limited entity. Try as I may to the contrary, I can never be all things to all people. I will always disappoint at least somebody and ultimately never transcend above my biological constraints. As I look back on my long life, I can say that the only thing I’ve come to know for certain is that I don’t know shit about shit. Perhaps this is a copout to get me off the hook for all the insensitive and cruel things I’ve done and said, but it’s the best I can do at this point. After all, I’m a flawed, limited biological being. A limited being who is not long for this world." 

In loving memory of K. Hume O’Henderbaum, 1919 - 2014
"We can only learn if we check our ideologies and preconceptions at the door of fate."

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Konstruction Korner

Wouldn't it be nice to have an HQ to match the staggering grandeur and majesty of the Kreative Tradition itself? That must have been the thought process of Gabe Gabriel and his son when they conceived of and rendered the following koncept drawing:


This bold structure towers to over 200 feet and boasts at least five facing materials and a revolutionary closed-loop, zero-waste environmental system. Although our present mid-century offices have served us well these past 6.5 years, we can't help but imagine what it must be like to kreate in a bona fide monument such as the one the Gabes dreamed up. Unfortunately, the City of Boise's design review commission found this self-sustaining, kolumnated edifice of Kreativity to be "an eyesore that is inconsistent with the scale and urban fabric of the surrounding neighborhood." Clearly, the Treasure Valley isn't ready for stunning architecture of this ilk. If only we had a shekel for every time we were ahead of our time. Ah well. Until the world comes around, we'll settle for a more modest answer to our urgent need for additional work space. Just this afternoon, in fact, we put 5,000USD down on an 8-year option to acquire the building pictured below to serve as an annex to the HQ. It's essentially next door and will house our printshop, musique koncrète studio and accounts receivable department.

   

Friday, March 7, 2014

The (Komik) Korner Kares

Eat healthy! You've heard it before, and some even say there's science to back up the notion that the objects we put into our bodies -- food -- can have varying effects on said bodies. I suppose we at KKHQ came to understand a piece of this first-hand when Maljohn attempted to eat a week's ration of dry-steak in one sitting, but the details of that shitshow are neither here nor there. This does, however, bring us to the raison d'etre for tonight's post. See, we don't mind hitching our wagon to the science train from time to time, especially in the service of human health and healthy humans. It was in this spirit that we commissioned a pioneering work of visual PSA'ing from Korner OG, Howard Fork, which is manifested below in pixel form. What more need we say, other than a brief message from the Forkman himself -- "those are tomatoes, asshat." Masticate:


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Fiction Korner

After the better part of two years, we present to you the much-awaited second installment of Jawn Steighmeaus' "Sunnyside Stories" serial. Acclaimed literary critic Rapaport Graves calls it the "finest fourth-person, quasi-epistolary anti-bildungsroman" he's read all year. Read and weep:

II 
Chad was the grandson of Ted T. Powell, a local agri-business magnate. Ted T. made his fortune on government contracts. Produced freeze-dried foodstuffs for the armed forces. In another time, some might have called him “tycoon.”
Spenser disliked Chad. Chad was petty, sycophantic and—worst of all—had a self esteem far outstripping his actual level of competence in most fields. Like so many in his peer group, he felt no impetus to improve himself through reflection and principled behavior. He figured he could get by on his charisma alone—a circumstance over which Spenser frequently shared a silent chuckle with himself.
As Chad entered Spenser’s office, the prominent overhead lighting agitated his glossy hair product. This crowned his tan head with a strange platinum halo. Spenser, pale with parted hair, stood hunched over a cardboard scale model of the city center.
“Those kids finally finished it,” Chad grinned.
“I like this little wine shop myself,” Spenser pointed at a proposed storefront on Ninth. “We’ve been tossing around a little DIY incubator and teaching vineyard out back, too.”
“A whole vineyard in the heart of Sunnyside,” Chad shook his head incredulously. “The City’s lucky to have you, Spence.”
Spenser didn’t need his ego stroked. And he certainly didn’t need Chad hanging around. But what difference did it make? The business major seemed largely benign. Spenser didn’t like to be addressed by an abbreviated variation on his surname, though. Still better than “Corporal," he thought...

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Eight Years After

We're pleased to bring you a very special post here on The Kreation Korner today. This coming spring marks the eighth anniversary of "West Downtown"--the now famous document of the titular district in Boise, Idaho. Released in 2006 by Pleasant Horizons Family Entertainment (now P&H Famcorp Holdings) and Buenos Dias Productions, the video features a boyish Chris Peebles chronicling the essence of West Downtown's sites, culture and energy in just under five minutes. Due to advances in internet video sharing technology, we are now able to present “W.D.” in slightly higher definition than we have previously:



Recent events make revisiting this audio-visual landmark as timely as ever before. With more and more of the neighborhood falling to the proverbial wrecking ball each day, let us take this opportunity to reflect fondly upon West Downtown as it was in its heyday before its malapropos dismantlement by hubristic leaders and philistine developers.

Latah Motors Building under demolition, 3003 W. Main St., West Downtown Boise, 2/26/2014

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

[Guerilla] Kreation Korner

Good evening, Kreation Konnoisseur. Huey Dood here. Just writing to report to you a kurious incident which okkurred earlier today. It all started when I popped into the Tsarbucks for my kustomary seven-shot decaf blended mochiatte when I happened upon the “zine” pictured below on one of the modernist coffee tables. It appears to be a nightmarish, alternate-universe promotional brochure for economic development in Boise City. A pretty cool, if a bit brief, read. As I finished flipping through its few pages, I was unpleasantly surprised to notice the Korner's kopyright notice slapped on the back kover. As TKK's self-styled brand manager, I fail to see how this unauthorized pamphlet slipped through my rigorous web of internal kontrols. Therefore, there can only be one explanation: some rogue Kreationist has jacked our steez. The good news is that this zine happens to be very much within the realm of what we konsider to be Kreation. Plus, it serves as a valuable piece of free kontent marketing for our Kause. Keep your eyes peeled at coffee spots, bus benches and wherever else free publications are placed in the capital city for your copy today!

 Front cover:

An inner spread:

Back cover:

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Musik Korner

Greetings, heads. Today we bring you another treasure from the archival project of Gabe Gabriel, a rare recording by white-boy blues weirdo, Old Man Baby. Old Man Baby, alias Jimmy, was a fixture in the counter-cultural happenings of mid-to-late 1960s Boise, ID, and would go on to form and dismantle numerous psychedelic rock bands. He signed to Kreativity Records in June 1964 and recorded prolifically while on their roster. This track, "Burnin-Mattress Blues," was featured on his 1965 album, Coffee Hands, and was a hit among local beats and train-hoppers.


Friday, February 21, 2014

Kulture Korner

As winter draws to a welcome close, we eagerly await the germination of new life and the much needed opportunity to stretch out our frozen muscle fibers. At long last, we will heave an anticipated sigh of relief as we lie in cool grasses and gaze into fluffy cumuli as Magic Eye posters of yore. In the Boise scene, springtime is also music festival season. But with another palooza in town this year (see below), some argue that the capital city has reached total music fest saturation. No matter. At The Korner, we like to say that one geographically-isolated mid-sized metropolitan area can never have too much indie ephemera to groove on.


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Breaking News [Electric Boogaloo]

Here's an update on the recent development drama from the Bench Triweekly Dispatch-Intelligencer online (and only) edition. We didn't read the entire article, but if the lede is any indication, The Korner is sitting pretty into the foreseeable future! Bust a nutgraf:

Arizona developer eying Boise Bench declares bankruptcy 
EUCLID revitalization plan on hold 
By D'Arcy Stroud, Staff Writer - Feb. 19, 2014 

Rio Rancho Con Fuego Del Sol LLC of Gilbert, Arizona has declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy, stalling the development company's plans for a large-scale rehab of the Bench's Emerald Urban Corridor Local Improvement District (EUCLID). 

In an interview with the Dispatch-Intelligencer, Rio Rancho head Hart Packard expressed his dismay over the news but remained confident that redevelopment of the Bench is inevitable. 

"It's not a matter of 'if' but of 'when'," Packard said. "I may have fallen, but there's a whole legion of developers behind me waiting in the wings, and they're poised to leverage the necessary assets to make the Bench a value-add for Boise." 

Rio Rancho's demise was met with alacrity by some Bench-dwellers. Huey Dood, spokesperson for The Kreation Korner, mentioned that he and his team are elated that the cityscape of the Bench will remain largely unaltered, at least for the time being. 

"The Bench is Boise's last outpost of authenticity," Dood said in an email. "Its urban grittiness and modest lease rates are kritical (critical) to our endeavors." 

The Boise City Mayor's Office declared that it will establish the Bench Commission, an independent working group tasked to investigate Rio Rancho Con Fuego Del Sol and determine whether or not the City acted too eagerly to allow a single developer to essentially have carte blanche over the reshaping of an entire neighborhood. 

A secondary objective of the Commission is to conduct an inquiry into how the controversial practice of "Kreation" has allegedly been occurring unchecked for years in direct violation of Boise's zoning ordinance for medium-density commercial areas.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Interkourse Korner (aka Interkorner)

Here's a special treat from The Kreation Korner, one that's been ripening in the pipeline for some time. Originally recorded in February 2012, it's quite the gem--nearly 30 minutes of unscripted, unfiltered konversation between Chris Peebles and BLENKO. Although we've introduced you to their video (Boise, LA, SF) and print output in recent years, we've yet to blow your mind, body and soul with an all-audio ko-konstruct. Since not everyone has the privilege of owning an Akai GX-4000D, we've konverted the album from its native reel-to-reel tape to the digital format for your listening konvenience. Although some of the original recording's distinct character was lost in the transfer, we're sure that the interaction of the interlocutors will resonate with you all the same. Hark:

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Poet's Korner

Today, we hesitantly bring you a "poem" by our benefactor Greg Purt, his first-ever stab at Kreation. Ah well, we suppose it doesn't hurt to let our patron hold kourt every once in a while. Glance over:

"Take my Card, Any Card"
By Greg Purt with Chris Peebles

I am entitled to one
     drink at the networking
     reception

I am an American

I am a good person

I'm a credit to
     my species
     A whole line of credit

I run on a track
     and never stop

I am entitled to one
     drink at this networking
     reception

It is my right, my privilege

I will be received

I will be redeemed

I will slap the side
     of the Zenith

I will present this ticket to
     the bar attendant
     Soda water, please,
     with a lime

For I am entitled to one
     goddamn drink at this network-ass
     motherfucker

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Video Korner

Well, it finally happened. We were wondering how long it would take for our eyes and ears to be visited upon again by the unknown guerilla kreationist. Turns out it was slightly over 10 months, a timespan whose symbolism eludes us. Huey Dood discovered this enigmatic clip on loop in his Microsoft Monocle early this morning. It took some doing to export and upload the video, but here goes:



While the intentions, if any, of this video and its predecessors remain shrouded in mystery, we find in them pleasant bemusement rather than fear and foreboding as we let the Spirit of Kreation wash over us, lifting us from konsternation. Such is the unburdening power of Kreationism!

Monday, February 3, 2014

Poet's Korner

Here's the latest phantasmagoria from Chris Peebles. To be earnest, we're at a loss for words with this passage. We'll find it less perplexing in a few years when we catch up to Chris. Enkounter:

"Babel Andre A.M."

I'm in
a maze
level off
a childhood game
on a machine

doors slide
shut behind
us as
we progress
us being
forgotten companions
I believe

we reach
a static chamber
after the gates
as fixed bodies

dread fades
as a giant extends
arm and hand down
a ledge that we
felt too high

he wrestles me
up to where
I can shimmy
up to where
I can stand

like the party
still trapped
below my guide
is no longer
known to me

he leads we
head back
doors negotiated
an obscure way in
spite of no bearing

I can't recall
a more
vivid piece than forcing
a window to scale
a wall outside to
a window to enter
a hallway to where
I'm not stuck

 --Chris Peebles

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Korner Wisdom

Speak loudly and carry a lot of water.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Memetic Korner

The Kreation Korner staff has recently become aware of the phenomenon sweeping the world wide web known as the "internet meme." Inasmuch as we can discern, the "internet meme"--or simply "meme," as we've taken the liberty to shorten it to--is nothing more than an image with text superimposed on it. From our initial findings, these picture-word amalgams are generally composed of recognizable pop culture iconography, exhibit a vaguely humorous tone and are easily disseminated to a wide audience through the internet--much as a viral agent spreads and systematically shuts down an immunocompromised body, organ by organ. We figure, hell, it's about time The Korner hopped aboard the meme monorail. To that end, we searched online for material related to well-known celebrities. After minimal deliberation, we decided to pursue the following video as meme fodder:


Then, we enlisted our intern Chad to distill the clip to its essence and synthesize a single, static panel to serve as an eminently transferable and accessible sociopsychological touchstone for the innumerable masses jacked in to cyberspace the world over. One Korner-style meme comin' up:

    

Friday, January 17, 2014

Poet's Korner

Hyperbolic Discharge
I'm so mad my head's gonna fall off!
You're too stupid to live!
This house is bigger than Taco Bell Arena!
He's so old he remembers a time before alphabets!
If you don't believe in the Constitution, you're Baphomet incarnate!

Sorry, my doctor prescribed me pills
For this problem.
Just haven't gotten the prescription filled
yet.

-Tum Cruz

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

On The Bench

It is with trepidatious hearts that we bring you what is undoubtedly the latest chapter in an unfortunate story we've observed unfolding in our immediate surroundings. You may recall a a post from August 2012 in which we decried the appearance of possible harbingers of redevelopment on our beloved Bench. Today, we regret to inform you that new information has come to light--information that far transcends mere portentousness and demonstrates that the kommodification of our neighborhood by growth machinists is imminent. We came by this knowledge when our own Damien Melange, though in sanctuary at the Surinamese consulate on Boise's swanky Embassy Row, hacked the following korrespondance from a data center in the American Southwest early this morning:


Our immediate reaction, other than confusion at the letter's excessive and alienating use of jargon, was one of horror at the realization that new development is coming down the pipeline right under our sniffers. One would think that as long-time residents of the Bench our input on these drastic measures would be valued. But our elected and appointed leaders didn't even so much as email us a Poll Primate questionnaire! We know now that "EUCLID" stands for "Emerald Urban Corridor Local Improvement District", but would assuredly still be in the dark if we didn't have an informant in the Planning & Zoning office. Clearly, our supposedly incorruptible city government is kolluding with this Hart Packard scumbag to refashion our enclave as the tony Emerald Urban Corridor, probably to make it more "livable"--whatever that means. How brazen it is to think one can actually make a place!

Map by Hadley Daughterson. Satellite base layer kourtesy of Google Maps

As this discovery has sunk in over the hours here at the HQ, our feelings have grown surprisingly divided. On one end of the spectrum, there are those kontributors among us who believe that preservation of the Bench, the very seat of Kreationism, in its present state is vital to maintaining a coherent Kause here and in the Kreative diaspora around the world.  maljohn, for instance, has taken advantage of the unseasonably clement weather of late and chained himself to a vacant lot across the street in protest of any and all revitalization projects that would threaten our ancestral homeland, so to speak. Another kamp at the Korner, composed mostly of the younger generation, seems to be of the mind that humanity is rapidly entering a post-spatial age in which kranial implants will allow us to interface to a fully virtual existence a la the Wachowskis' Matrix franchise. Needless to say, their feelings on the very physical HQ and Kommune are "meh". Wherever any one of us stands, time waits for no Kreationist and we've all resolved to remain stoic and vigilant as Packard's malevolent timetables loom nearer. Stay tuned for more, if any, Bench redevelopment updates.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Koding Korner

It seems these days one can't walk any measurement of distance without hearing about coding. Coding, coding, coding! Should we learn to code? Is coding as essential a skill as basic reading or math? To gain some perspective on this ubiquitous yet elusive practice, we held a video kontest. We asked for submissions that vividly encapsulate the kultural importance of coding in under two minutes. The following is the only entry we received. We were hoping for more, but acknowledge that we are likely at fault for the deficiency as we totally spaced advertising. Come to think of it, we're puzzled as to how this "Cube A. Sick" character even heard about it. In any case, Sick made a pretty deece vid (decent video). We're sure it would have easily been a kontender for runner-up had we received more submissions. Input:  

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Kommentary Klassik

Happy Twenty-Fourteen, Kommon Era! What better way to ring in the new than with a classic rant from K. Hume O'Henderbaum? Entitled "Old Lame Sun," this diatribe was originally spouted off 50 years ago today. Although undeniably a product of the Cold War epoch, we feel it holds up pretty well and has plenty of relevant insights for the present day. Take heed (disklaimer: Mr. O'Henderbaum's opinions are what some may konsider radical and deeply disturbing. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the entire Kreation Krew. Please do not read the following if you're mind is closed to extreme kreative possibilities):

The dawn of a new year is an ideal time to reflect on the cosmos and our meager roles in it. Why, I was contemplating this very subject at Dan's Grouse Inn last night during the waning hours of 1963 when it struck me: why do we need years at all? Perhaps since as early as this planet first coalesced from an unremarkable cloud of dust, we've revolved around the sun. Again and again and again some more! After a few eons of this, we invented the concept of the year to make sense of this arbitrary oblong our habitable orb traces. And what has the sun done for us? Burned our skin. Blinded our eyes. Call this hopheaded pseudoscience, but I suspect the sun is even changing our climate, leading inevitably to environmental degradation, resource scarcity and subsequently a widening gap between the world's rich and poor. Sure, the sun is responsible for all life on this planet, but, given our current social and political trajectory, who's to say life was such a good invention? If you ask me, we human beings are in a rut. We're too afraid to break out of our comfort zone. We're complacent thinking in terms of "years" and predicating all our assumptions on this unquestioned construct. The only way to truly challenge ourselves as a species is to climb out of this rut, to jostle ourselves out of this orbit. I'm not speaking metaphorically here. Heck, between us and the commies we've got enough firepower to propel the earth into deep space. It's just a matter of piling up every nuclear weapon the world over in one single unpopulated location and then detonating them all at once. This ought to be enough of a blast to push this rock onto a tangential path out of this dead end solar system. How will we live without the sun? Well, we can only learn if we check our ideologies and preconceptions at the door of fate. Only then can we explore the unknown and truly grow together, united as we hurtle through the dark depths of the interstellar void.
--K. Hume O'Henderbaum 
(Originally broadcasted on KRTN Radio, Jan. 1, 1964)