Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Korner Wisdom

No. 44: "Authenticity" is not authentic.

No. 45: All flags should be flown at half-staff at all times.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Poet's Korner

Found poetry, 3-DEC-2016, approx. 17:20, thrift store readerboard, W State Str, Boise, Ida:

                                         COME       CHECK
                                            OUT       OUR

                                            FURNITURE

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Korner Wisdom

No. 43: "A business should be run like the government."

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Kandor Korner

"When I sit down to kreate, I try to draw from personal experience. It's the subject I know the least about." --Hadley Daughterson 

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Poet's Korner

"The Final Act"

I got some groceries, some peanut butter, 
To last a couple of days

The world is just
one long Chekhov play
Got that WMD
on the corner today
The talks, accords
dismantled peace
Got that WMD
on the mantlepiece
To paraphrase
an Edward J
do we deserve to last?
We're in the wide-
ning gyre now
so pull the trigger, pull it fast

--Fig Nugent

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Poet's Korner

Next election's presidential candidate

I've got a million ideas and none of them are well-formed
It's half-baked hospital pizza out there, folks
Please read me your confirmation number, or just say "I don't know"
It's possible I won't win this one
I've successfully, you know, owned, operated, and sold an established sand business
This campaign is going down like a champagne shitbox
I thank you for your support, especially those of you I'll scapegoat later

-Tum Cruz (illustration by Lee Watt)

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Going Once, Going Twice

Have you ever wanted to own a piece of genuine Kreation Korner history? Are you weary of printing out our posts on your Deskjet and cradling them in your mitts as some ersatz relic of the Kreationism Movement? If this describes you then today's your day! For a nominal fee, you can bring into your possession an art object krafted by one of your favorite kreationists. We got the idea for this auction when we noticed the staff's propensity to utilize office supplies and software for non-work-related doodles. Rather than punish them for misusing company resources, we have chosen to highlight their wastefulness as kreative output while simultaneously parlaying it into a much-needed revenue stream*. To take advantage of this exciting opportunity, simply inscribe the number corresponding to the piece below that strikes your fancy--along with your name and mailing address--in blue or black ink on a fluorescent green 3x5 notecard, along with what you feel is a fair price in US dollars, and slide it under the front door of the HQ. The goods will go to the highest bidders. If your price is accepted, expect to receive your merchandise in an authenticity-stamped archival sleeve in 3 to 40 business days. Assign value to:

1. Chris Peebles, A Man A Plant A Canal, 2015, pencil on tablet paper

2. Gabe Gabriel, Arrow Of Your Ways, 2013, digital image

3. Svetlana Mendoza, Cleansing Fire, c.2016, pencil on notebook paper

4. GRECH, Filing System Experiment, 2016, various pens & markers, stamp, stickers, and white-out tape on manila folder

5. Lee Watt, Square Study No. 5, 2016, pencil on scratch paper

6. Hadley Daughterson, Forest Of Your Mind, 2016, digital image 

7. Huey Dood, Where's My D.G.?, 2016, various pens & markers on legal pad

*(The following was very painful for us to write but the truth demands to be told.) Why, you may ask, has the Korner seemed so obsessed by money these past few months? From branding campaigns to content marketing, it may seem as though the Korner is engaged in the distasteful business of monetizing our output. Unfortunately, that is a fair assessment. But hear us out: over the summer, our laissez-faire benefactor Buenos Dias Productions was acquired by the multinational Amacorp Diversified Technologies. It was naïve for us to assume this betrayal wouldn't come some day when we got in bed with capitalists. Anyways, in Amacorp's initial assessment of their subsidiaries, The Kreation Korner was identified as an "underperforming property" and presented with a performance improvement plan--which of course we had no intention of following. As such, the only way for us to retain control of the means of production is to get out there on our own and hustle to make a buck. Talk about a reality check! By now, most of us have had to take straight day jobs just to keep the proverbial and actual lights on at the HQ, which leaves precious little time for kreating. Although you've seen and will likely continue to see less-frequent yields from us as a result, it is our sincerest hope that our new "quality over quantity" model will be as stimulating and galvanizing for you as ever. We could view this focus on cold hard cash as perverse, even compromising to the very integrity of the Kreationism franchise. Rather, our beleaguered staff is more or less in agreement at this point that our idealism is a worthy sacrifice to keep Kreationism widely available in at least some form in a sociopoliticoecomomic context monstrously unwilling to assign it value. To remain intransigent in the very real face financial ruin would mean certain death for The Korner. We are not above adapting to survive. We cannot thank you enough for your continued loyalty, patience, and understanding during this strange and difficult journey.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Kids' Korner

For all those who may not know, Mr. and Mrs. Chris Peebles are expecting their first child this month. In the midst of excitement over bringing new life into the world and the prospect of helping to raise a slightly better human than he, Chris has begun to explore ways to adapt his Kreative tendencies for a younger audience--specifically in the medium of children's songs. "Although my body of work as it stands is technically appropriate for all ages," Peebles told The Korner in an exclusive Skype interview, "I feel there's plenty of room to evolve my output on the infantile tip." Chris then went on a bit of rant about the mediocrity of the children's music scene and assured us that his kontributions will be not only amusing and educational for the youngest among us but funky fresh to boot. We just happen to have a prototype kut, and we think you'll agree it's got serious klout to it:

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Kontent Korner

The Top 3 Meals of the Day
How to stay well-fed in your busy life


Tum Cruz
KreationKorner Staff



These days, there are sooo many meal options -- like, hundreds. Literally. And if you're like me, the opportunities we get to enjoy a tasty, nutritious food-consumption session are few and far between. Pretty overwhelming, huh? Well, fret thee not! I sat down with a couple of my fellow KreationKorner staffers and sorted through all the noise to render a list of three essential meals that can fit into even the busiest of schedules. Bon appétit!

1. Breakfast
This classic meal is best enjoyed to kick-start the day soon after you wake up. Be sure to include plenty of healthy fats and protein-rich grub to get those synapses firing right! Wash it down with some fruit juice for some extra vitaminy goodness.

 2. Lunch
Unless you're some kind of badass genetically-engineered super soldier, you can probably only go four hours tops before you need a pick-me-up in the sustenance department. Lunch is just that! Bonus points for portability if you go for a sandwich or burrito.

3. Śkryml-m'Dâhn 
Also known as the Feast of 1,000 Blood Mollusks, Śkryml-m'Dâhn is a great way to replenish your stores of red bile and fortify that frail husk of crude flesh you call a body for the nightly ordeal of Dream Combat. Word to the wise: make sure the spleen of jackal is completely engulfed in the purifying flame before you partake--as the wizard Hemoglobus warns,
only he who sups on vittles bright
shall live to see the morning light

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Musik Korner

Good Saturday to all! If you're currently out seeking that special someone, if love has looked unkindly on your lot, if romance remains the rabbit that pillages your well-tended garden, have no fear. Comfort is here. Comfort, in the form of a second track unearthed from the never-released OST to the never-released Percy Stankowski full-length film, Romance Is Difficult and Sometimes Leads to Complications. This track, titled "Smells Like Retail," would have played over the ending credits, so if you can close your eyes while listening and just imagine a long set of text denoting production roles, cast, locations, and music credits scrolling from top to bottom of screen, then you'll more or less have the right idea: Dig:


Sunday, July 24, 2016

Poet's Korner

"Steed Stetson Has Voted"

As I sat in Doc’s saloon awaiting 
the results I couldn’t help but 
think neither candidate would 
be best for Salt Creek 

I stared into my third virgin 
martini and thought of the time 
I had to choose between 
sucking a damp bedroll 
or sipping a spittoon 
to stave off thirst 

If you ask me, the decision I made 
at my precinct earlier wasn’t much 
different 

Either way I felt I was lining 
the pockets of the cattle barons 

Clem was a breath of apolitical 
fresh air — he explained to 
the three or four haggard 
patrons that to abstain from 
voting as he had was still 
participating in the demi-cratic 
process 

At least that’s what I think 
he said—couldn’t hear too well 
over the confounding new strains 
of proto-contemporary ragtime 
fusion he was churning out 
on the tack keytar as he spoke 

I looked up from my glass to see 
Miss Roberta enter the establishment 
her downcast expression belied 
the cloying “I Voted” sash on her 
person 

We exchanged a wordless nod 
as she bellied up to the bar 
Doc poured us each a whipped 
cream-flavored vodka 
Miss Robert muttered something 
about the balloting booths 
cluttering up her school house 
and we downed the hatch 

The spirit was as over-distilled 
as the ubiquitous campaign 
literature, simplified to 
the point of obscenity 

What an insult to Salt Creek’s 
dozen or so intelligent folk 

After a few belts I found my hat, rose 
to my feet, and cinched up my chaps 
Doc said nothing as he polished a tumbler, his 
mustachioed face staring vacantly
I’d settle up next time
my credit was good with Doc—he knew 
I kept him in arm 
garters 

Time to hit the trail 
with the innumerable fine 
dirt particulates in the air 

There’s no need for polling 
places on the high plains

The only duly-elected town dog catcher 
is the turkey vulture 
circling eagerly above

--Steed Stetson

Saturday, July 9, 2016

The Korner Kares

Here at The Kreation Korner, we pride ourselves in making a difference. But it's not just our flagship Kontent product and its liberating effects we peddle. This may be news to some of you, but occasionally we break off some of our vision and skills as a service to organizations looking to win the hearts and minds of konsumers close to home and far afield. Plus we're striving to parlay our kapacity for konsultancy into a new revenue model. The following video is part of a kampaign we're doing for a new group whose mission is to educate humanity and other sentient beings about the importance of self-love in the effort to stave off impending environmental katastrophe. We did this one pro bono but you've got to start building your klient base somewhere! Be moved and heed this straightforward kall to action:

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Musik Korner

Hails, Kreationists! On the eve of the American nation's birthday, it is our pleasure as political provocateurs/apathetes to bring you nothing speaking in any way to said celebration. Instead, we at the Korner are proud to showcase a new celebration of the true spirit of Kreationism, in the form of previously-lost demo recordings from a house band of sorts at the KKHQ circa 2006ish. Just prior to our venerated launch into cyber-space, it is true that such an entrancing, tremolo-picking din would greet any and all visitors to our humble offices, as we were financially forced at times to rent out space to whomever might help pay our rent that month. In the midst of all that, the most reliable source of rent was a group of musicians obscured in monastic robes and armed with glossy black guitars. Seeing as there were and are no boundaries to kreationism, we welcomed their racket and money with open arms, and even took it upon ourselves to record a track or two. Lost until today, when we were cleaning out Percy Stankowski's old editing bay, these tracks can now see the light of day (or the pitch-black countenance of the void). Grovel:


Saturday, July 2, 2016

Does Anybody Really Care?

For our second post of the fiscal new year, we present to you the latest in occasional kontributor Bill Johnson's series of digital kollages inspired by pseudo-philosophical popular music lyrics by bands named for major American cities. This one's called "The Presumptuousness Of Chronological Awareness." Cetera:


Friday, July 1, 2016

Poet's Korner

I don't wear denim
pants as
a political statement
I don't wear denim
at all it's a
political statement

--Fig Nugent

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Musik Korner

In August 2013, Chris Peebles and Rasmus Wright kollaborated on a short moving-image-and-sound project entitled "You're Late". Needless to say, it revolutionized the Kreationism Movement. So we were understandably krestfallen when Wright and Peebles abruptly announced their intentions to never again work together. But the Kreation gods work in mysterious ways--as fate would have it, we learned only yesterday that Chris and Rasmus, for reasons that may never be revealed, opted once again to ko-kreate, this time as a musical supergroup called Living Documents. Until now, they've kept this operation klandestine, likely to keep pesky rock journalists and fanchildren at bay. As we've comes to expect from these two, the joy and excitement they together bring is accompanied with just as much dismay--we learned only today that Living Documents has disbanded after completing just 12 minutes of music. Originally conceived of as a double B-side, Living Documents' modest yet powerful output was allegedly repositioned during mastering as side 3 of their now-notorious unfinished double album Who Will We Work With When We Wonder Why?. The album's tumultuous recording sessions have already become the stuff of legend, making it unsurprising that the band was never meant to last. You just can't press two positive ions together for too long before they repel each other apart as far as possible, we suppose. Ultimately though, aren't we lucky to have just a fragment of what would have undoubtedly been one of the greatest kontributions to recorded music of this or any other age? And lest we forget, anything--even another brief, strenuous Peebles-Wright kollab in the not-so-distant world of tomorrow--is possible in the Kreative universe. Rejoice, sing, dance, and ring in the new:

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Resentment Korner

Hi. Huey Dood here. You don't hear from me much. That's because I spend most of my time working behind the scenes at The Kreation Korner, and may I unironically say that without my administrative and project management acumen this organization would simply implode. In this sense, I'm the most essential Kreationist on staff. But do I get any of the kredit, glamour, or adulation? No. Apparently all of that is reserved for the Peebleses, the Daughtersons, the Stankowskises--you know, those prima donnas who sit around all day waiting for that Kreative spark or what have you. But while those lazy hacks await inspiration, I'm the one busting my hump to keep this ship afloat! But you know what? I'm kreative too! I didn't apply for a job at Kreation Systems Worldwide out of a love for klerical work. Allow me to prove it to you: the following is a series of edited photos I bootstrapped during my occasional moments of down time over the past year or so (I lose track of time, understandably so, what with the demands placed on me). You'll see that ol' Huey can kreate with the best of them! Hopefully this post will knock those koddled "kontributors" off their phony pedestals just a little bit. Stand in awe of:

"Close Encounters"

"Ladies Night"
  
"Street Waves"

"Otto Parts"

"Information Technology"

"Merely A Conduit"

"Close Encounters Redux"

"Everything's A Spectrum"

"Drivetime"

"Impractical Cats"

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Interkorner

Howdy, partner! We have a special treat for you today. It's an interview conducted by Gabe Gabriel II with none other than the mysterious preacher Rev. Ambo Dais who has occasionally graced this blog with often-cryptic sermons in recent months. The younger Gabriel was assigned this project for a philosophy class and, by taking full advantage of his Korner konnections, was able to arrange a conversation with one of today's greatest minds. Not bad for a 15-year-old. We only hope Gabe uses his privilege to uplift those less advantaged than he rather than to become a konceited Kreationist brat like another staff member's spawn who shall remain unnamed herein. In any case, we think you'll vigorously agree that the following is a dialogue worthy of the space in the kloud it now inhabits. We'd like to thank Mr. Wright of Steunenberg Senior High for releasing the interview for our use but not for giving poor Gabe a C+. Wrestle with: 

Gabe Gabriel II: Thank you for agreeing to speak with me, Reverend. Before we get into the philosophical questions, I'd like to ask you some questions on your background. Are you in any way associated with the Kreation Mysticism movement?

Ambo Dais: That's not me. You are probably thinking of Rimbaud Davis. I get that a lot. Let's just treat my personal life and background as off-limits, shall we?

GG II: Oh, uh, fair enough. Sorry about that. I guess we'll move onto the questions on your philosophy. First off, I'd like to ask you, what are your thoughts on good and evil? 

AD: I don't find artificial binaries like this to be terribly useful. Sure, binary systems are useful if you're building a highway overpass or something of that nature. But if you think individuals like to be treated like major infrastructure, you need a lesson in empathy, my Entity. 

GG II: So what I'm hearing you is that there are moral gray areas? 

AD: Those are your words. Here's an analogy to better illuminate my meaning: say you are looking at a common tri-color traffic signal (Editor's Note: if you are unfamiliar with this technology, here's a link to an informative article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traffic_light). When the green light is on, it is customary to go. When the signal is red, you stop. But in between it's yellow, when you're neither completely going nor stopping. We exist is those in-between spaces, the yellow lights. Not gray. 

GG II: But the traffic lights you describe are either green or red most the time, not to poke holes in your analogy. 

AD: By all means, poke away. If I'm not eliciting critical thought and the grappling with of ideas, then I'm not doing my job. I would counter, however, by pointing out that your perspective seems deeply entrenched in a conventional conception of linear time. I've gazed into unchanging yellow lights for hours before. 

GG II: That's very interesting. Let's shift gears a little to a more practical question. What do you recommend as a good way of being? 

AD: There's that g-word again. I'll do my best to answer the question in what I'm assuming is the spirit in which it was asked. I recommend living a life of decisions made according to what the entity believes is the "best" course of action based on available information. An entity should constantly seek out information new to the entity from sources both external and internal to the entity, but the entity should always be vigilant of truth mirages. 

GG II: I like that. What would you say the ultimate goal of life is? 

AD: I find this the least abstract question you've asked yet! The goal of life is to experience a full range of emotions in a place or set of circumstances you can call "home." 

GG II: This has been a very intellectually stimulating interview. I'll end by asking what advice you might have for a high school sophomore eager to learn more about the nature of existence. 

AD: Try staring into a yellow light sometime. Clear your mind and become completely present, or as much as possible. Stay focussed and soon seconds will feel hours--you'll find you really do have the power to exert mind over matter, to take responsibility for your reality. Do this at a safe distance from the street--I can't in good conscience recommend to a minor the preferred way, which is to stand directly in the center of the vehicle right-of-way. The Wise Ones say if an entity is totally purified of earthly distraction, the cars will pass right through them. 

GG II: Wow, this has been really eye-opening. Thanks for your time. 

AD: Thanks to you, young Gabe. You are an Entity among Entities. 

Editor's Note: Due to Rev. Dais' insistence one personal privacy, Gabriel conducted the interview through an intermediary--it took nearly a week to relay the questions and responses back and forth. We have edited the transcript to give it the feel of seamless, in-person interaction. It reads like they were in the same room, didn't you think?

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Video Korner

Friendly greeting, reader. Today The Korner brings you the latest installment in the attention-grabbing videographical exploits of one Cube A. Sick. When asked to provide a kreator's statement on the work, Mr. Sick declined, stating that to provide any komment would irreparably damage his kharisma. But doesn't silence itself speak deafening volumes? In any case, here's the vid:

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Poet's Korner, Also

Soothe my nerves
Me-thu-se-lah
Might live long but
Soothe my achin nerves
Cuz livin long there's great pain
In that
And right now
I could use a aspirin

-Tum Cruz

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Poet's Korner

"Disband Dishes Adjudication"

foci visual E dee-shock
see bridle edifice-ehz he did

sick jejdown so I me 
dodnesko ekco-dose

down do chencleo 
cons doc echo brick 

do knewlivend-juice 
n'dicidid S dodos 

belles flick row wikfofk 
from eh sicken wik-cowhav

vigorous truth tegu 
field be so dock 

didn't gapdovh yriddle 
fuzjabar shift he during 

offend eyewear it
godparent fiefdif it

fielded if she off 
field hey did other 

riddled he id id 
ir bawportuna fee

jod-jof D R
bane keys doc wow

--Chris Peebles

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Kontinuity Korner

It's been nearly one of your Earth-months since last we posted. But we guarantee the ware we're plying today is worth the wait! What we have is a meticulously reconstructed version of the infamous West Downtown video produced by Korner founders Henry York and Patrick M. Watson back in '06. There's so much we can say about this revisiting of West Downtown Boise ten years later, but instead we'll just share two misattributed quotations that succinctly shed light on the contradictory nature of being:

"Everything changes and nothing stands still" --LeVar Burton

"The more things change, the more they stay the same." --Andrew W.K.

Take in:


Oh, and here's the original, if you want to compare or whatever:

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Musik Korner

Happy Ides of March, you treasonous dogs! We're overjoyed today to let slip an EP entitled Amusing Bemused Confusion by Rasmus Wright. Although each of the four tracks it contains have been featured on The Korner at some point during the past two years, they can finally be heard bundled together in a specific order and appreciated as a single, unified message as the artist originally intended. "These songs were conceived of during a short-lived but necessary period of misguided angst in my life," Wright told a crowd at a panel discussion on the future of panel discussions over the weekend. "While lyrically ABC does't reflect my values, I think it's definitely some listenable shit." This is a busy time for Rasmus, as this EP release comes on the heels of his tour of Saskatchewan with Bluesy Lewis And The Bluesy Lewis Blues Band and just a week ahead of the third annual Sand Box Music Festival in Boise, where he'll share the main stage with Marry Merry Mary, Nehru Jacket, great white shart, Churls, *pfffft!*, Dog Shit Taco, Shirt, rug, Napkin Holder, Ebola Dicks, and Fish. Amusing Bemused Confusion will be available on wax cylinder or a pack of nineteen 3.5" floppy disks along with other merch at the merch table for those interested in buying merch. Consume:

Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Korner Kares

Today we revive an old recurring segment to share a poster for an upcoming event The Kreation Korner whole-heartedly endorses. Leverage:


Thursday, February 18, 2016

Exhortation Korner

Note: Today's sermon is actually a voluntary survey to encourage self-reflection and emotional growth.

If you feel so inclined, please ask yourself the following questions as loudly as you can as you gaze into an Art Deco vanity mirror, preferably shattered, and then softly mutter the answers to yourself as truthfully as possible:

Why do so many jurisdictions have speed limits but no wealth limits?

Can you really work to dismantle a system you disapprove of "from the inside" or is that just something you tell yourself to sleep at night, as the saying goes?

If I told you that the core aspirational objective upon which all policies and laws should be based is "minimize harm and maximize thriving for all entities," would you call me a dirty liar?

Have you seen Hail, Caesar! yet? It was entertaining without a doubt, but I thought it ultimately lacked substance when compared to the Coen Brothers' earlier canon.

--Ambo Dais

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Video Korner

Sometimes, one is reminded of the impermanence of objects, of places, of life itself. In these moments wherein cracks are noticed in the facade of one's surroundings, it becomes abundantly clear that reality is merely a thin curtain draped tenuously over the void. Say, for instance, one is watching the Homicide: Life on the Street Season 7 DVD boxset checked out from the Boise Public Library Collister Branch. Suddenly, and without warning, the playback begins to skip and freeze and tile. The picture and sound are distorted to the point of compromising one's ability to receive, comprehend, and enjoy the narrative. Indeed, this is a potent reminder of decay, of entropy, of the inevitable demise of all things. A reminder that narrative can last only as long as the physical medium housing it can last. A reminder of the futility of endeavoring to define anything when even dictionaries are an abstraction. One's natural reaction to this state of affairs may well be gloom and listlessness. Rather than dwelling in despair over life's meaningless, however, one may find the lack of any knowable objective truths as an opportunity to create their own meaning. Yes, one may turn the "nothing" into a "something"--especially when portable video recording and editing equipment is readily available and user-friendly. Enjoy whatever this is (or isn't) while it lasts:

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Musik Korner

Here it is, as promised--Chris Peebles' improvisational minimalist ambient avant-garde jazz spoken word album Jazz Phantazzmagoria. We gave you our word that it would be released in January and although we made it by the skin of our teeth, we have proven our integrity. But enough about us! Let's talk about the album. We all knew Peebles to be a superlative poet. No question about that. But in these recordings he has proven himself a top-notch komposer, producer, audio technician, and multi-instrumentalist as well. As alluded to when we presented the preview track last month, Jazz Phantazzmagoria is best enjoyed and appreciated via an earbud-type headset. You may lament that the mix wasn't mastered with your vintage HiFi stereo setup in mind. But may we remind you that no less an authority than Davis Berns tells us that while the venue for its consumption is constantly evolving, music remains essentially the same.



In addition to Chris' revelatory "eargasm" of vocals, piano, synthesized drums, and prepared guitar, we're also excited to release the visual stylings of our own Hadley Daughterson. As her first album cover in over 30 years, Daughterson returned to her roots as the premier surrealist graphic artist of the short-lived but highly influential Kiskiminetas-Conemaugh River Basin prog rock scene of the late 1970s. Truly a feast for the ears, eyes, and likely other body parts, we proudly bestow upon you Jazz Phantazzmagoria (available exclusively from Kreation Systems Worldwide, a subsidiary of The Amacorp Diversified Technologies Group):

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Korrespondance Korner

The following is a message for the St. Alf's overflow parking lot occupying force. The Kreation Korner sides with neither our ex-komrade Peter Doe and his fanatical kronies nor the milquetoast law enforcement entities so transparently and unfairly using the "kid gloves." We are more than willing, however, to use our blog as an informational medium to keep the public apprised of this prolonged, fucked-up incident.

Dear Mr. Doe,

First off, allow me to apologize for our delayed response to your requests two weeks ago. The truth is, it was a time-consuming process, a lot of burnt midnight oil, to meet with a raft of PR agencies to devise the carefullest possible language to address you, your associates, and your behavior. While I can say that I, the Bureau, and pretty much the entire US political-economic apparatus cannot agree, in the strictest sense, with your hospital car park action, we assume that you are decent, upstanding citizens governed by a strong moral center and carrying the necessary permits for the as yet unknown number and variety of arms you bear. It is not our policy to assent to the demands of well-intentioned activists such as yourself and your group, but we are willing to compromise. Rather than sending you snacks, a small party of field personnel may, if you agree to it, escort two of your cohorts to the nearest Costco Wholesale center. We will provide a modest $1,200 gift card and 45 minutes for your people to acquire the needed provisions, after which they will be returned directly to your cantonment. As a show of good faith, I will stay unarmed in your custody, as collateral, until your friends are delivered safely back to you, supplies in tow. After this episodes over, we can discuss next steps, if any.

Yours in Liberty,

Sib Stanley
Primary Coordinator
FBI Occurrence Interaction Team

P.S. If your people make any attempt to take over the Costco or disrupt any other commercial infrastructure in any way, we will not hesitate to send in the cavalry and terminate your operation with extreme prejudice.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Poet's Korner

Found poetry, date unknown, fishing tackle shop readerboard, W. State St., Boise, ID:

WEDDING RINGS TROLLS
     SNUBBERS   F & G
   AMMO    POP    BEER

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Update Korner

Whilst political and social upheaval grips the Forpes Top 10 Business Bergs-listed Boise, ID, it seems that San Francisco continues to attract Kreation cognoscenti. While BLENKO's residence here has been well-established, at least as of his last summit with Chris Peebles, it has recently been divulged that Percy Stankowski has been residing there for an indeterminate amount of time. Eschewing the face-puckering limelight that comes with indie-avant-nada filmmaking stardom, Percy has been on a personal quest to regain a dream lost in childhood. That dream? We'll leave it to independent documentarian, SF Chinatown culture magnate, and new friend of the Korner, Alabastair Chan, to explain:

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Send Us Snacks

Hello. It's me. Peter Doe. Long time, no rant. Looks like I remembered the login credentials and password for The Kreation Korner. And I bet you a steak dinner those bleeding hearts won't take this down since everything on their mediocre blog is precious. Anyways, you may ask why I've come out of the proverbial woodwork. As it turns out, I'm on sabbatical from my egg business in Midvale and am currently down in that wannabe-urban rat race know as Boise, Idaho. Specifically, I'm camped out on the overflow parking lot at St. Alf's Regional Medical Center along with anywhere between 20 and 200 of my old compatriots from my militia days. Why are we occupying a seemingly inconsequential patch of asphalt? As you know, this lousy planet is a place of constant suffering. Too many people encounter real, daily violence to their civil rights, their dignity, their very happiness, safety, and health. Usually, I'm able to tune this crap out. But in instances where I feel my immediate personal sense of order is threatened--no matter how abstractly, obliquely, and/or insignificantly--I am obliged to privilege this instance with an act of insurrection. So when I found out St. Alf's was poised to rip up its overflow parking lot to build the Dinnis D. and Tamala J. Baysmund Center for Advanced Pediatric Oncology, I had to act. You see, the framers of the United States Constitution guaranteed certain inalienable liberties for folks like me. One of those liberties is the right to park my LeSabre in a hospital's overflow lot when I want to attend a short-season single-A minor-league baseball game across the street. Therefore, we plan to remain on this lot for a week, a month, a year, or however long it takes those medical morons to extract their heads from their asses and spare the lot. In our righteous haste to block the removal of that which is rightly ours, it appears we packed insufficient provisions. We cannot fight tyranny with empty and grumbling tummies! Our demands are as follows:

-4x Red Vines® Original Red Twists, 5.5 lbs. tub
-8x Frito-Lay® Bold Mix variety pack, 32ct.
-14x Gardetto's® Roasted Garlic Rye Chips, 8oz. bag (pack of 12)
-3x Hunt's Snack Pack® Pudding, Butterscotch, 3.5oz., 36-cup variety pack
-11x GoGo SqueeZ® Applesauce On The Go, 3.2oz. pouch (pack of 48)
-27x Oh Boy! Oberto® Peppered Thin Style Beef Jerky, 3oz. bag (pack of 2)
-34x Keebler® Sandwich Crackers, Club & Cheddar, 8ct.
-24x Nature Valley® Sweet & Salty Nut Granola Bar, Peanut Butter, 16ct.
-7x Mars® Chocolate Favorites variety pack, 135ct.
-13x Blue Diamond® Bold Sriracha Almonds, 6oz. can
-17x Tostitos® Salsa Con Queso, Medium, 15oz. jar
-5x Tostitos® Corn Chips Scoops! 100% White Corn, Family Size, 14.5oz.

We are well aware that the illegitimate regime running this country may laugh at us. But we know that deep down the government fears us. Hell, I bet most those clowns in government secretly agree with us. So search your souls and do what's right and just. Send us snacks. Don't test our resolve, especially when we're hangry. Ask yourselves: who will be laughing when hundreds of freedom-loving patriots descend upon Washington with bellies full of Snyder's of Hanover® Honey Mustard & Onion Pretzel Pieces?