Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Going Once, Going Twice

Have you ever wanted to own a piece of genuine Kreation Korner history? Are you weary of printing out our posts on your Deskjet and cradling them in your mitts as some ersatz relic of the Kreationism Movement? If this describes you then today's your day! For a nominal fee, you can bring into your possession an art object krafted by one of your favorite kreationists. We got the idea for this auction when we noticed the staff's propensity to utilize office supplies and software for non-work-related doodles. Rather than punish them for misusing company resources, we have chosen to highlight their wastefulness as kreative output while simultaneously parlaying it into a much-needed revenue stream*. To take advantage of this exciting opportunity, simply inscribe the number corresponding to the piece below that strikes your fancy--along with your name and mailing address--in blue or black ink on a fluorescent green 3x5 notecard, along with what you feel is a fair price in US dollars, and slide it under the front door of the HQ. The goods will go to the highest bidders. If your price is accepted, expect to receive your merchandise in an authenticity-stamped archival sleeve in 3 to 40 business days. Assign value to:

1. Chris Peebles, A Man A Plant A Canal, 2015, pencil on tablet paper

2. Gabe Gabriel, Arrow Of Your Ways, 2013, digital image

3. Svetlana Mendoza, Cleansing Fire, c.2016, pencil on notebook paper

4. GRECH, Filing System Experiment, 2016, various pens & markers, stamp, stickers, and white-out tape on manila folder

5. Lee Watt, Square Study No. 5, 2016, pencil on scratch paper

6. Hadley Daughterson, Forest Of Your Mind, 2016, digital image 

7. Huey Dood, Where's My D.G.?, 2016, various pens & markers on legal pad

*(The following was very painful for us to write but the truth demands to be told.) Why, you may ask, has the Korner seemed so obsessed by money these past few months? From branding campaigns to content marketing, it may seem as though the Korner is engaged in the distasteful business of monetizing our output. Unfortunately, that is a fair assessment. But hear us out: over the summer, our laissez-faire benefactor Buenos Dias Productions was acquired by the multinational Amacorp Diversified Technologies. It was naïve for us to assume this betrayal wouldn't come some day when we got in bed with capitalists. Anyways, in Amacorp's initial assessment of their subsidiaries, The Kreation Korner was identified as an "underperforming property" and presented with a performance improvement plan--which of course we had no intention of following. As such, the only way for us to retain control of the means of production is to get out there on our own and hustle to make a buck. Talk about a reality check! By now, most of us have had to take straight day jobs just to keep the proverbial and actual lights on at the HQ, which leaves precious little time for kreating. Although you've seen and will likely continue to see less-frequent yields from us as a result, it is our sincerest hope that our new "quality over quantity" model will be as stimulating and galvanizing for you as ever. We could view this focus on cold hard cash as perverse, even compromising to the very integrity of the Kreationism franchise. Rather, our beleaguered staff is more or less in agreement at this point that our idealism is a worthy sacrifice to keep Kreationism widely available in at least some form in a sociopoliticoecomomic context monstrously unwilling to assign it value. To remain intransigent in the very real face financial ruin would mean certain death for The Korner. We are not above adapting to survive. We cannot thank you enough for your continued loyalty, patience, and understanding during this strange and difficult journey.