Konvention Korner

Where have we been the past few weeks you might be asking? Well, if the title of this post is any indication we've been burning the midnight fossil fuel planning the first ever KreationKon! It's a konvention to be held the second week of July. It will feature panels, booths and other things kreative. At least 48 percent of your favorite kontributors will be in attendance to sign autographs and engage in impromptu kreative acts. If you're anywhere near the Red Lion Hotel Ballroom in West Downtown Boise when this all goes down, don't hesitate to pop in and pay the $24 admittance fee. The first 50 through the door will receive custom Lee Watt beer koozies. Don't miss this once in a year opportunity! It will be anything but konventional. Now that we've whetted your appetite, here's an old Chris Peebles number from his b-sides and rarities compilation to tide you over:

Stale air breaks into hard tack
Deep drafts moisten the
pierced and narrow channels
Goods barge in and dock
points in the lining
Food of the bygone epoch
slips through and out
never to be grasped

Korner Wisdom

No. 19: "Behind every great man is a swath of destruction."

Fiction Korner

He has seen himself for the first time. There on that groomed and immaculate putting green, Jani has taken first steps on a journey leading to a polished, baby-blue world. It's a world that feels smooth to the touch, like the flawless finish of a Chrysler LeBaron. This, he thinks, is what dreams are made of. All perception before this moment has been inarticulate lies. How did I get here, he thinks to himself. Slowly he recalls the quart's worth of Budweiser-branded Chelada he had consumed in the past hour or so. Perhaps this is the ambrosia which has opened the doors in the mind that he had never seen before. A mind that is now truly his, where before it had felt like a strange brain wrongly assigned to him at birth. Perhaps, too, it was the joy emanating from the Michael's Furniture Showplace Invitational into which he has stumbled. All these people, beautiful, are welcoming him, beckoning to him, obliging him to join in their celebration of life and well-made but recession-minded furniture. Does it really matter what brought me here, wonders Jani. I only know that I am here and that I am loved.

Boo Merengue

Poet's Korner

I never thought to
cut a tree until
we invented
the saw.
But now I'm up to
my earlobes in
sticks, twigs
and logs.
I can't move in any
meaningful way
and eating is
a challenge.
I've tried sucking
sustenance
from the
fibrous
pillow smothering
me of late but
sap doesn't
hit the
spot.
by
Ch
ri
sP
ee
ble
s

Komik Korner

Here's some light fare:


Served up by Hadley Daughterson

Shit's Hit the Fan Korner

We do not deny that The Korner is kurrently in khaos. Lines have been drawn in the sand, turning kreator against kreator. By our estimate it's the worst bout of in-fighting and factionalization the Kause has suffered since the Westphalian Skism of 1926. But like all korners, the ever-unfolding story of Kreationism is cyclical. A startling sixth page story published in the Bench Triweekly Dispatch-Intelligencer this morning reports an event of no small magnitude that may very well serve as a harbinger of restored fellowship and prosperity. We pray to whatever god(s) we believe in that this article portends the hastening of our return to liberté, égalité and fraternité. Scan:


Chas Murdoch On The Run!
KSW chief wanted for securities fraud evades authorities
By D'Arcy Stroud, Staff Writer

Early this morning a joint strike team consisting of Dept. of Agriculture and Securities and Exchange Commission personnel raided the Boise Foothills home of local venture capitalist and heir Chas Murdoch only to find the midcentury modern cantilevered residence deserted.
Authorities have spent months building a case against Murdoch for allegedly using his clout to defraud investors and fix soybean prices on various commodities exchanges.
"Murdoch's a menace," said Sib Stanley, special agent in charge of the crackdown. "He represents the worst kind of exploitative sleaziness in our society. It's only a matter of time before we track down and prosecute that scum."
Murdoch is best known locally as the benefactor of The Kreation Korner, a contingent of self-proclaimed "kreationists" who publish a blog of the same name. He is also known internationally as the jet setting CEO of Kreation Systems Worldwide and one-time juror at the now defunct Kannes Film Festival.
"It doesn't surprise me," said Tony Stevenson, local businessman and longtime Kreation Korner reader, of the incident. "Ever since Murdoch started meddling in the kreative process the Korner hasn't been the same. Something seemed off about the guy."
According to Korner kontributor Huey Dood, Murdoch's overbearing management style was often a detriment.
"He was like the domineering stepfather to our rebellious young man--always cramping our style," Dood explained. "Turns out he was a stepfather with a dark side, as many of us have suspected for some time."
The Kreation Korner sees Murdoch's flight from the law as an opportunity, despite the loss of their sole funding source.
"We're excited to return to some back-to-basics Kreationism, without the corporate influence," Dood said. "After what's left of our slush fund dries up, though, we'll have to hook up with a dynamic financier whose heart and assets are unfrozen. We're realists at the end of the day."
A $10,000 reward has been posted for Murdoch's capture, dead or alive.

Solidarity Korner

Gabe Gabriel here, reporting on an event that may just rip this whole Korner asunder, so that it is no longer a korner but simply two unadjoined walls, disunited from their kommon kreative kause. In the latest development surrounding the Banner Scandal (or "Bandal," if you will), KK kohorts Sprechen Sie Tronik have expressed solidarity with the mission of Nash Stillwater. In a statement released yesterday, and subsequently translated by our resident German impressionist, Herr Frau, SST had this to say:

"We will not support this injustice. The world expect our latest single for now two years, but will hold we without the collaboration of the Chas Murdoch our gift to us. It is your choice, Chas."

aTom, one-half of Sprechen Sie Tronik

Needless to say, SST is speaking of a track entitled "Rhythm Is a One Who Dances." Beyond the title, little is known, but its release promise to be a momentous occasion, the delay of which will have untold consequences. Things certainlly are heating up around here, and that's apart from the fact that Ronald Raygun has filled our rec room with seven working Softubs. Keeping you posted on all things Kreative, this has been Gabe Gabriel. Back to you, blog.