Komedy Korner

Our historian/archivist/documentarian/kwartermaster/everyman Gabe Gabriel recently returned from an estate auction in upstate New York, carrying in tow the personal papers of the late Budd Bellows.  Prior to overdosing on speed balls in a hotel bathtub last month, Mr. Bellows was a relatively well-known comic on the college circuit. By all accounts, his material was little more than ham-handed low-hanging fruit. But if the sheaf of documents Gabe acquired for a small fortune is any indication, Budd was on track to broach a major kreative breakthrough, peripheral as his efforts were to our franchise. It's a tragedy that such a nascent master was cut down so suddenly. Imagine the heights to which he could have soared.  Anyhow, we found the following witticism scrawled on the back of an envelope among Bellow's vestiges. It may very well be the prototype of a form of humor the world will never be fully privy to. Scoff:

Set-up: I live my life in two worlds: the world I experience when I'm awake and the world of my dreams. One of these worlds is characterized by unending toil. It is an odyssey without end. The destination is in sight yet remains eternally elusive. A path unfolds before me, but it is circuitous and full of diversion. I get side-tracked and drawn into outlandish subplots. I observe people I haven't seen or thought about for years engaging in strange acts in strange places. Places I've never been. Places nobody's ever been and likely do not exist. In this world, geography lacks a discernible logic. Disparate locales are contiguous. Day transitions into night in an instant. Years fly by in what seems like minutes. In this world I become mired in such mystifying flights of fancy that I lose sight of the destination all together and never quite arrive no matter how close I unwittingly get.

Punchline: You think that's crazy? Wait until I tell you about the world of my dreams!

Poet's Korner

Creme de la brain

The sunset is a creme, yellow

Neatly leaking through the slatted shades

This is a color-palette anachronism

It relaxes my mind-tubes

Fluids of stress slow their flow

But it will fade soon enough

For that sun can't hang forever

We all know it ain't Michael Jordan

And we all know that Michael Jordan is

A construct, those commercials lie

No one can do what he does

He can't do what he does

But we buy the squeaky sneakers

Buying the sensation of a brilliant star

Like the sun

But the sun sets

And in a few billion and some change,

It will die and take us with it.

-Tum Cruz

Korner Wisdom

Everybody seems to be thinking outside of the box these days. Break the mold and take a peek inside, if you dare.

Kandor Korner

"When you read one of my stories...uh...hmm...how can I say this in terms relevant to the digital age? Ok, let’s try this: imagine that one of my stories is a folder on the desktop of your home computer. Gazing upon the folder’s icon and reading its title may very well be a fulfilling experience on its own, but double-click on the folder and you’ll discover dozens if not hundreds of unique files within. Some of them are image files. Others are text documents--many of which are comprised of the beguilingly unintelligible characters of machine language. Some files you click on and a dialogue box pops up with the unfortunate news that an error has occurred. You might even happen upon a few sub-folders, adding further depth and intrigue to your exploration. What’s in these sub-folders?? Per hap nothing. Per hap they are locked, and nobody knows the administrative password. Not even me... 
Anyways, that’s just some of my material. Other stories you can pretty much take at face value."

--Jawn Steighmeaus

Ahead Of Our Times

This afternoon, one of our stringers shot this image at the nexus of Idaho and 19th Streets in Boise:

These imposing, lithic blocks are engraved with what appears to be an attempt to brand the district in the western extremity of the central business district.  Not to say we told you so, but we kreative types were aboard the community identity train for this particular neighborhood as far back as 2006 with West Downtown helmed by our own Chris Peebles.  Look up "visionary" in the dictionary and you'll see our picture.

We'd like to thank everyone who came out for the first annual Kreation Korner Alternative Ingress Symposium. While the objective of KKAIS was to kollaboratively burrow new tunnels into the unexplored vaults of the kollective unkonscious, some attendees must have interpreted the name of the event in a non-figurative way. Needless to say, there's a significant amount of broken glass and human blood on the floor of the HQ, and the encroachment of the elements has made our workspace all but indistinguishable from the chilly outside world. Of course, we understand that in the throes of a kreative frenzy people are capable of unkanny feats--propelling oneself up to and through a second-storey window is not uncommon. Nevertheless, we'd appreciate it if the offending party would stop by and clean up this mess.
Despite the grievous damage to property and person, the Symposium was a huge success!

Hadley Daughterson's rendering of Korner Headquarters in its current impaired state. Such is the price of Kreation!

Korner Wisdom

Whoever said, "Any dream worth having is worth fighting for" has obviously never had that one where they show up at their elementary school in a boat, and are then forced to teach in a classroom which doubles as a cooperative tacqueria.