BLENKO comes alive!

I don't know what Gabe's wigging out about, this retreat is tits. All the spray paint I could ever want, comfortable bed linens, the whole nine! I mean sure, they make us take turns in the isolation chamber each day to keep our minds "pliable," but isn't that a good thing? It means, like, not stiff, right? And you know, maybe it's a small price to pay for a much-needed break from the ol' KKHQ. As a friend once told me, there's no such thing as a free panini. And this panini is dang tasty. No, really. It's got, like, roasted bell peppers n shit on it... I'm like, what'd you guys do, fly in that Emenil dude or something? Wait, no. That's not right. Emenil's the stuff they keep giving us before we hit the hay. After that, we get these nightmares our retreat coordinators call "horsefevers." Ah well, like I said, big fuckin' whoop, Gabe. This is what happens when you book a retreat off a website that also specializes in unlicensed pharmaceutical testing. Cry me a river, build a bridge, and go fuck yourself.

To anybody receiving this message, this is Gabe Gabriel of The Kreation Korner. I can't talk for long--our "hosts" think I'm safely sekwestered with the others. I just wanted to let the world know that their favorite kontributors are ok, despite our konspicuous lack of output this past month. Our troubles began in late october when we elected to attend a team-building retreat in...in...well...um...we don't know where we are--they blindfolded us for the chopper ride in. I don't have the luxury of time to go into much further detail. Suffice it to say our bonds of kamaraderie have been strengthened by our shared yearning to flee our insular kaptivity. Damn, I think I've been detected. They'll be coming for me soon. Until next time, dear friends, unti..............What am I doing in here? I'm not doing anything...Huh?...Computer?...Oh this computer?...I don't even know how to use one! I'm old-fashioned like that, ha ha...No wait, let's be reasonable! Call off your dogs!...Wait, no, get your hands off me! You can't silence all of us..........................[end of post]

Fiction Korner

"Is This Fiction?"

My arms are cold in a way that they never have been before. The sky tilts and reminds me that finger-picking is, in fact, still an art that deserves rescuing from the mincing dictates of so much indie pop. Then, too, I recall my own struggles with what it is to be masculine, and what I derogatorily castigate as effeminate. Yes, despite my bedding-down in the locus of progressivity, I am beset by personal insecurities, the very manifestations of which have caused my torsic appendages this chill which prompted my prompt. But I am seeking home in the cold of my own creation, which itself will be transformed one way or another in the coming hours.

-Boo Merengue

Komik Korner

Video Korner

This morning, several of us here at The Korner stumbled upon a 3M Scotch Smart Mailer on the front stoop of the HQ. The return address box contained the following inscription:

Get from point "A" to point "B" as quickly as you can. Drum on the steering wheel and curse. Win that bread! Or stop in traffic. Get out. Look around. Your surroundings are the physical manifestation of broader trends. A litmus test spelling certain doom for the American Dream. Don't believe their lies! --Anon.

Inside the 8.5"x11" moisture resistant envelope was a smart phone. The device's memory appeared to be completely wiped, with the exception of this video:

It seems we have a rogue kreationist operating in our midst, which we welcome wholeheartedly! Anon., if you read this post, please swing by and collect your phone. Thanks.

Transcription Korner

Many, if not all of you, undoubtedly remember "Pennies in the Air Ducts," the landmark short film The Korner released on YouTube earlier this year. In it, we see Chris Peebles and BLENKO in a rare unguarded moment tackling the big issues of existence over the backdrop of scenic Boise, Idaho. Recently, our video host appears to have added an "Interactive Transcript" to accompany the video, perhaps to serve our aurally impaired followers. We feel they captured the repartee with the utmost precision. Cast an eye over:

0:13 dislike
0:18 i could be a pain
0:19 review ministerial than courtyard
0:23 received these notices wonder whether can't remember
0:27 carolyn didn't soccer club
0:37 that that was
0:38 part like i say like grilling like electric
0:42 want to know what you're saying
0:44 seeing those elected means it will be that ship on those buildings in the bag
0:48 what distinguish something missing
1:00 jennifer spotlight trace height light and flights
1:06 whatever boise tickets powerful economic my copy expelled like occupy our copy
1:12 sucks czechoslovakia often dog sorry that's like yours private rescue work
1:17 that's going to wipe it up with
1:20 like these
1:21 spell quit journalistic you know i mean i like
1:25 chances about that
1:27 the plane tickets
1:28 karen let's play for her pocket
1:31 minus staff here back recessionary times right in my backyard
1:37 okay
1:38 symphonies communists changed character
1:42 salzburg proper her
1:56 like to be like a bumblebee they also is
2:00 was nicole nears
2:03 why didn't he
2:05 the beads isis
2:07 be your return
2:09 be or not to be
2:13 that's my question
2:15 these words that really is and we think we don't even think about that but
2:19 they have white
2:21 meanings in their words inside of them
2:24 business-oriented reason convention
2:27 reusing and showing
2:30 they had to be convention really good huge pool
2:34 hi selection
2:36 suspect's attorney article except for her part
2:40 but
2:41 saturday
2:43 would help relieve the skies yeltsin's career
2:48 it's also finance planning
2:51 just drawing a line in the sky with political
2:55 different
2:56 it's up to you if you want to be contained underneath him more about that
3:00 yes let me know
3:01 livelihood
3:03 the meanwhile u
3:08 i really like i mean i did you ever see that movie
3:12 meetings
3:13 it's honda
3:17 it's like saying restrain him
3:20 internet site
3:22 just like
3:23 reality is what you make it big but these mental boundaries and we can you
3:27 can do and one of those is that we can fly at night
3:31 don't subscribe to that
3:34 it's just the doesn't make sense to me that we should like does bellies are
3:39 suffering
3:42 what is it really is saying there have been here
3:50 delegated
3:53 he's never

Korner Wisdom

You can learn a lot about a man just by reading his autobiography.