Trend Alert!

Here's what's trending this very second:

1. Jessica Biel
2. Russia warns U.S.
3. Paula Patton
4. Twerking
5. Tesla outsells Porsche
6. ConAgra recall
7. Sonia Gandhi
8. New Orleans Saints
9. Texas measles outbreak
10. Dog fighting ring

Trends courtesy of yahoo.com

Satire Korner

"Bigotry in the Breakout Sessions: A Play for the 140-character Age"

Scene: conference center breakfast buffet, mid-sized state university, Pacific Northwest. Ben and Ellen are conference attendees awaiting custom omelets assembled by a student employee.

Ben: I don't know about you, but I keep seeing more and more résumés come across my desk from millennials.

Ellen: I know! We have a millennial in our office. He gives me the creeps! But somebody's got to do the social media.

B: That's about all they're good for. My wife said the millennial in her office set up Facebook accounts for three men at the same time and liked it! Can you believe that? I mean, have some self respect!

E: That's the problem, I plum don't know what their values are.

B: Or if they have any at all!

E: Just this past month, five millennials, FIVE of them, moved in across the street. I know they're in there tweeting and snapchatting at all hours of the night. It makes me sick!

B: That used to be such a good street. What a tragedy.

E: We've already called a realtor. A BOOMER realtor.

B: That's about all you can do. Too late for us, unfortunately. My eight-year-old is already asking about Tumblr. Such a loss of innocence. It breaks my heart.

E: Those millennials have no qualms about corrupting our youth. But I'll be damned before one of my kids updates a status or posts content on a computer or mobile device screen!

B: It's a dirty job for dirty people. BTDubs, did you add me on LinkedIn yet?

--TKK Staff

Video Korner

When Rasmus Wright’s debut album plummeted earlier this summer, the chanteur quickly became the talk of the Bench. Naturally, every Kreationist from Boise to the Bay wanted a crack at kollaboration. After a kumbersome bidding process, Wright selected none other than Chris Peebles as the Ashford to his Simpson. In one Sunday (or “Funday,” if you like) afternoon, the duo cranked out the following video. “It’s not so much a video. Unless you consider moving digital images accompanied by sound to be a video. Then yeah, it’s a video, if you wanna get in the weeds about it,” Peebles reported, adding, “Working with Rasmus Wright was really a thrill. I remind him of an older me.” When asked if ‘You’re Late’ is just a taste of redoubtable things to come, Peebles replied, “Nah, this is just a one-off deal. Rasmus and I have since severed ties irrevocably.” What a shame. Subsume:

 

Kommerce Korner

When The Kreation Korner made its daring foray into the print publications racket last August, we were convinced our inaugural release Parallel Stills would unfiguratively sell itself.  But with nearly a full solar year elapsed and not one copy sold, we accept the inevitability that we must assert some effort--even if it means lowering ourselves to petty hucksterism. To that end, here's a cri de coeur from our own Chris Peebles:



Click here for your copy today!

Komedy Korner

A guy is obsessed with this woman. He starts going through her mail, following her, and so forth. One day he breaks into her home. Inside, he discovers numerous curios which intrigue him. Being a specialty importer-exporter, and being that he has in his possession a small number of items roughly equivalent in value, the man gets the overwhelming urge to barter with her.The woman comes home, startled to find him there. Brandishing a conveniently handy tire iron, the woman demands to know what he wants with her. He replies, "Stalk and trade."

Korner Wisdom

No. 34: A warehouse without love is not a warehome.
No. 35: "I'm here" is almost always a true statement.

DigitaLP Korner

The Kreation Korner rarely hesitates to enthusiastically promote those whom we perceive as partners in our Kause. Rasmus Wright is one such honorary kreationist. We had the privilege of featuring several of his tracks on The Korner during the waning months of 2011. It would appear R.W. has been busy in the time that has elapsed! Just this month, he let slip his debut album upon that dynamic system of global networks that connects us all (internet). It's entitled "2&2"and initial reviews are astonishingly mixed. Although an early champion of the young prophet of Psychoamericana, venerable rock critic Rapaport Graves opined in a pithy capsule review of the album: "Quantity vs. quality? Wright's diaphanous debut disc lacks both." We gave Rasmus an opportunity for rebuttal during an exclusive impromptu hibachi-side interview at the "2&2" release party at the HQ last night: "The age of the Stadium Arcadium-length release is over. We're in the era of the Myspacebook and Microtweeting. The mercurial listening public's pendulum has swung toward the brief and I'm their humble servant...at least until I get bored." Only time will tell how history will or will not remember Rasmus Wright, but what we can say today with certainty is that we expended our weekly bandwidth allotment to post his album so please take a listen: