Sunday, December 30, 2012

We’re Back! A Kreationist’s Story

Good (fill in time of day) to you! Words are largely insufficient to convey how great it feels to be back in Boise, or “The C.O.T.” as Gabe Gabriel’s son calls it. The story of our escape is far too harrowing to recount in the delicate format of the blog, but luckily Lee Watt somehow managed to illustrate the whole affair (please mail us a self-addressed envelope and $19.99 in pre-1999 quarters for your copy today!). While it is certainly a relief to finally be free of our retreat hosts and their Svengali-like hospitality, what exactly have we returned to? As far as we can tell, the world didn’t “end” on December 21st. But it also doesn’t appear that humanity has crossed into a golden era of global harmony and understanding, as a more optimistic reading of the Mayan portent might suggest. Our world remains mired in a quicksand of strife and consternation, where finite reserves of metallic substances are disproportionately allocated to the manufacture of assault-type weapons rather than the fabrication of structural steel to shore up homes and other buildings in earthquake-prone, impoverished regions. In this coming year, we yearn in earnest for the dawn of a misery-free, utopian age--even if such an age renders the role of Kreationism superfluous. Until such a time, however, the objectives remain mostly clear and the Korner’s mission is far from komplete. May we all have a productive and fulfilling new year!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Korner Wisdom

No. 29: "Everything is the same, except for several key differences."
No. 30: "Everything is different, except for several key similarities."