Thursday, November 25, 2010

Header Korner

Hello, you! On this, the day of ritual turkey massacre in the name of a national fiction, we bring you cutting political commentary in the only form that seems to sell these days -- gritty, high-contrast, faux-stencil, post-pop graphic art! It's true we couldn't get hold of the two most ubiquitous practitioners of the medium, Banksy and Shepard Fairey. Our plea to their publicists to "do us a solid" was roundly rejected. Typical left-wing conspiracy.

Luckily for you, however, "failure" isn't in the Kreationist playbook. ("Earth-shattering poetic prophecies in an abandoned paint factory," on the other hand...) But I digress. You may notice at the top that, against all odds, we have managed to create a statement that is both a visual treat and an incisive political thought-piece of devastating implications. There's even some reading involved! The pun might take a little while to grab you, but be patient. This piece is most rewarding after multiple viewings, kind of like a James Cameron film. Yes, I'm proudly drawing a comparison between our current header, and Titanic.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Prognostication Korner

Every great Kreationist from Huey Dood on down to Steed Stetson have asked at one point or another, are we alone? Is The Korner the sole bastion of the Kreation Kause in a turbulent, indifferent sea of woe? The answer is no. As much as we'd like to assume the aforementioned insular attitude, the fact is that kind of narrow-mindedness has come back to bite us all in the kollective ass. But this is not to say our small planet is teeming with kreationists. On the kontrary, signs of kreative life are few and far between and it is only through happenstance or the providence of a higher being that these elusive kounterparts are revealed to us. Today, we bring you one such sign. It is an article from a self-described muck-raking online newsletter. Although the author seems to be working under an unusual definition of kreationism, the piece eerily foretells our infamous Vision Kuest '08 nearly three years before it occurred. We're not sure how to interpret this mysterious tract, but we are evermore convinced of the mysteriousness and potency of kreationism and humbly suspect that we are mere pawns in an arcane chess game spanning untold ages of man. Take a look for yourself:

"Kreationism in Kansas" by Stan Cox

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Komedy Korner

The old "Donkey in a Top Hat" bit as told by Svetlana Mendoza, Part X:

The two ran for a few blocks, but then slowed to a brisk walk, so as to stave off upchuck
Had not the foreman been the highest ranking employee at the plant, he would’ve been worried that his tardiness would be grounds for reprimand
But, even so, he was a principled man and hated the precedent he set by taking advantage of his position of authority

To Be Kontinued...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Poet's Korner

Found poetry, 11/2/2010, 10:53 am, SFSU Humanities Building, 3rd Floor Men's Lavatory

Tap your feet
Be discrete

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Fiction Korner

A friend of a friend's wife once told me all literature is about God, death and sex. Well, this story's an exception to that rule. It's about cookies. But as a writer, I'm not going to beat you over the head with cookies. Cookies will be subtly hinted at rather than explicitly referenced. You will have to mine layer after stratified layer of subtext to find the cookies. Be sure to bring your spelunker hat of unconventional thought--you're going to need it! This isn't your great aunty's cookie story. This is the big leagues! I'm going to show you cookies, not tell you cookies. So there you go. Fair warning. Don't come crying to me if your head explodes. --Jawn Steighmeaus