Sunday, January 25, 2009

Poetry Korner

"Am I raining on your parade?"
Is that what you really want to ask me?
"Am I
raining on your parade?"

You brought a clown to my father's funeral.
So yeah, you could say you rained on my parade.
I'd consider that the very fucking definition.
You goddamn asshole.


Monday, January 19, 2009

Komik Korner

A very hearty "Hello!" to all of you visiting the Kreation Korner on this fine day. Today's post finds the viewer once again at the mercy of Lee Watt, a young man whose talents can easily make nine panels feel more like twelve. Perhaps you'll recall his "atomic cowboy" series? If not, you're a fool, and there's nothing that I can or will do to help you. Well anyway, let's not dwell on your stupidity. Today we look to a bright future of kreation from Mr. Watt as he proves that an atmospheric discharge of electricity really can occur two times. Ladies and men, we are proud to present to you "Sequential Images No. 32."

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Poet's Korner

This ain’t water.
What do you take me for?
A guy who can’t tell
the difference between water
and flat 7up?
Take your deflated soft drink
elsewhere, Mack.
I ain’t thirsty no more.

--Kris P. Bulz

Sunday, January 11, 2009

History Korner

Guten tag! (Hello!) The journey we at the Kreation Korner have taken in our ongoing quest for unrestricted kreativity has brought us to many new frontiers, both geographical and mental in nature. Our most recent discovery comes via Germany, the land of poets, thinkers, and Bosch Diversified Technologies. Our traveling correspondent Gabe Gabriel reports a startling new find for Kreationism in the form of an inspirational poster circa 1975.

Referencing our Korner-issued German dictionaries, we at headquarters quickly deciphered the message. "Die freude von" can be translated easily enough to "The joy of." What is most interesting, however, is the final word, "kreatenstalt." While no such term officially exists, a cursory examination of the term's components reveals "kreationism" as the only possible translation. The significance of this find could be of truly mammoth proportions, and raises many questions. Might Kreationism be a secret society as old as mankind itself? We don't know. Are we at the Korner simply the newest generation in an eternal continuum of enlightenment and sophistication? We are not equipped to answer these questions. Could we, the practitioners of Kreationism, be the most important, most intelligent, most revolutionary figures of this or any other time? Again, we just don't know.

Little is known about the origin of this artifact, other than a small watermark on the back of the poster, stating simply "Das Amakorp." Needless to say, ongoing investigation has been moved to Priority 1 status here the Kreation Korner. May the joy of Kreationism be with you all!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Komedy Korner

Inevitably, kontributor and komedienne Svetlana Mendoza has made the daring jump to visual humor--or, as we have koined it at The Korner, the kartoon. Not being the type to tread lightly, Svetlana pulls out all the stops on her inaugural "kartoon." We at The Korner present it to you with a "view-at-your-own-risk" kaveat. At the risk of sounding offensively dramatic, just hope you make it out alive. Cautiously indulge:

Monday, January 5, 2009

The Korner Kills

Don't be startled by the headliner, folks. Or, whatever, be startled, it's no skin off our backs. But back to the headliner. What we plan to kill today is not people, but rather stale preconceptions of the world around us. Being of erudite wit and reasoning, we at the Korner are often asked for advice from those seeking a better life more rooted in kreationism. Our first question in this new segment comes courtesy of Joanne from Beaverton, OR.

Hi, Kreation Korner. I've been a fan of your website for a couple months now and especially enjoy the poetry segments. Onto my question. I had a dinner party a week or so ago and one of the party-goers spilled red wine all over my eggshell-white carpet. What would you suggest for a stubborn stain?

Glad you asked, Joanne. First, rip out the carpet. Next, trash your house. Trash everything. Commit the act of destruction, for out of destruction comes kreation. This is your only hope, and I say this with utmost seriosity, of leading a life of any worth. One's life is not meant to be spent fretting over affairs so rooted in triviality and vanity. Perhaps your real problem is not the wine stain on the carpet, but the stain of conformity on your mind. I implore you, Joanne, to meditate on these matters. Your ultimate happiness and self-worth depends on it.

Plus, who makes white carpeting their first choice? That's just destined to fail. When I was decorating my house, I decided instead on a lush forest green. Hides the stains and it looks wonderful, too.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Onward the Kourse of Kreation Takes Its Way

When The Kreation Korner was originally launched during the French Revolutionary month of Fructidor in the Hebrew year of 5768 (or, in some circles, September 2007), we took the world by storm. We burst unrelentingly into existence, delivering a decisive blow to a stagnant art scene's skull as it timidly bit an uninspired curb. We benevolently extended a promise to simultaneously blow your mind, body and soul. During the ensuing months, we have surprised even ourselves. We have inadvertently blown our own minds, bodies and souls in the process of doing the same to yours.
Around this time last year, we promised you a revolution. Although we delivered, it was no easy task. We went through our share of hard times. But that didn’t stop us from producing some unprecedentedly ingenious feats of kreation. Our success would not have been possible without the support of you, our devoted reader. This new year will be full of challenges, and the Kause needs your help to persevere. So, in the upcoming months, we humbly ask that you continue engaging in the favorable kombat.


Your Pals at The Korner