Saturday, June 21, 2008

Poet Korner

gimme them shoes
im gonna kick you with em.
im gonna kick you cuz you stole my
wallet.
no?
you lie. im gonna kick you harder.
yes, those shoes
with the velcro.
you know i can't tie a knot.
now you made fun of me, you know what happens?
i'm gonna kick you
HARDER.
feels like shit huh?
yeah well you just
hold yer tongue. you know
what'll happen
if you don't.

-maljohn.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Poet's Korner

Finally, after a long wait, the Kreation Korner is pleased to bring you the latest poetry from your favorite wordsmith, Chris Peebles. As per always, Peebles delivers korrosive konjugations, devastating denotations and pugilistic prose. The following represents everything the Kreation Korner stands for with delicate ruthlessness. (As the de facto authority on all things Kreation Korner, we feel qualified to make this bold claim.) We hope and know you will agree. Relish:

There's no more room in my hummus-addled brain.
In one ear, out the other--just like Sister Catherine
used to say.
She was right, though--I never did amount to nothin'.

Her words were like vanilla piss searing my Venezuelan
etch-a-sketch of a heart.
Strutting in her penguin suit--it wasn't even Halloween.

Anachronism was her nature, the monkey on her shoulder.
I guess I'll leave it up to the Greeks, purveying their paste as
Zeus himself sheds tahini tears of indifferent concern.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Komik Korner

This is truly a momentous event here at the Korner. It is a rarity to have just one artist of truly kreative potential forging into new and unexplored areas of kreation, but for TWO to surface, and in the course of ONE WEEK -- well, that's the stuff that keeps us going here at KKHQ. We are proud to present to you Lee Watt, a young man whose prodigious manipulation of color, line, and wordplay has enthralled all of us here at the Korner. It gives us great pleasure to publish Part 1 in Watt's animated series, "atomic cowboy."

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Komedy Korner

Time for more Kuest highlights! During our now infamous stay in that flat, rectangular state known as Kansas, we had the rare fortune of adding a new member to the esteemed ranks of the Kreation Krew. Her name is Svetlana Mendoza, and she is a crafter of alternative jokes by trade. Typically, the Korner dismisses "jokes" as cheap, low-brow fodder for feeble-minded dunderheads. With Svetlana, however, we had to make an exception. The true Kreative energy koursing through her multi-layered, unorthodox witticisms had us all in stitches. We're just glad that she happened to wander through our encampment, also in search of kreative inspiration in the Kansasian wilderness. We have here today several of Svetlana's finest gags. We hope your reaction is both jocular and insightful. Consume:

A man with no eyes walks into a bar.
"What can I get you?" asks the barkeep.
"Got a pair of eyes?" asks the man.
"Sorry. We're clean out," says the barkeep.
So the man says, "Well, in that case I'll just have an ear."

A man and a woman are sitting on a park bench.
"What am I thinking about?" says the woman to the man.
"Sports highlights," replies the man.
"How did you know that?!?" asks the woman, stunned.
"I have ESPN," replies the man.

A lawyer, a mercenary, and a doctor all die and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter asks them, "How did each of you spend your lives?"
"I tracked down helpless car crash victims and cheated them out of thousands of dollars," replies the lawyer.
"I was hired by governments all across the world to commit despicable acts of murder," replies the mercenary.
"I illegally wrote myself prescriptions for Vicodin to fuel my ravenous narcotics addiction," replies the doctor.
"I know," says Saint Peter, "I was just trying to make small talk. Welcome to the afterlife."