Sunday, May 29, 2016


Howdy, partner! We have a special treat for you today. It's an interview conducted by Gabe Gabriel II with none other than the mysterious preacher Rev. Ambo Dais who has occasionally graced this blog with often-cryptic sermons in recent months. The younger Gabriel was assigned this project for a philosophy class and, by taking full advantage of his Korner konnections, was able to arrange a conversation with one of today's greatest minds. Not bad for a 15-year-old. We only hope Gabe uses his privilege to uplift those less advantaged than he rather than to become a konceited Kreationist brat like another staff member's spawn who shall remain unnamed herein. In any case, we think you'll vigorously agree that the following is a dialogue worthy of the space in the kloud it now inhabits. We'd like to thank Mr. Wright of Steunenberg Senior High for releasing the interview for our use but not for giving poor Gabe a C+. Wrestle with: 

Gabe Gabriel II: Thank you for agreeing to speak with me, Reverend. Before we get into the philosophical questions, I'd like to ask you some questions on your background. Are you in any way associated with the Kreation Mysticism movement?

Ambo Dais: That's not me. You are probably thinking of Rimbaud Davis. I get that a lot. Let's just treat my personal life and background as off-limits, shall we?

GG II: Oh, uh, fair enough. Sorry about that. I guess we'll move onto the questions on your philosophy. First off, I'd like to ask you, what are your thoughts on good and evil? 

AD: I don't find artificial binaries like this to be terribly useful. Sure, binary systems are useful if you're building a highway overpass or something of that nature. But if you think individuals like to be treated like major infrastructure, you need a lesson in empathy, my Entity. 

GG II: So what I'm hearing you is that there are moral gray areas? 

AD: Those are your words. Here's an analogy to better illuminate my meaning: say you are looking at a common tri-color traffic signal (Editor's Note: if you are unfamiliar with this technology, here's a link to an informative article: When the green light is on, it is customary to go. When the signal is red, you stop. But in between it's yellow, when you're neither completely going nor stopping. We exist is those in-between spaces, the yellow lights. Not gray. 

GG II: But the traffic lights you describe are either green or red most the time, not to poke holes in your analogy. 

AD: By all means, poke away. If I'm not eliciting critical thought and the grappling with of ideas, then I'm not doing my job. I would counter, however, by pointing out that your perspective seems deeply entrenched in a conventional conception of linear time. I've gazed into unchanging yellow lights for hours before. 

GG II: That's very interesting. Let's shift gears a little to a more practical question. What do you recommend as a good way of being? 

AD: There's that g-word again. I'll do my best to answer the question in what I'm assuming is the spirit in which it was asked. I recommend living a life of decisions made according to what the entity believes is the "best" course of action based on available information. An entity should constantly seek out information new to the entity from sources both external and internal to the entity, but the entity should always be vigilant of truth mirages. 

GG II: I like that. What would you say the ultimate goal of life is? 

AD: I find this the least abstract question you've asked yet! The goal of life is to experience a full range of emotions in a place or set of circumstances you can call "home." 

GG II: This has been a very intellectually stimulating interview. I'll end by asking what advice you might have for a high school sophomore eager to learn more about the nature of existence. 

AD: Try staring into a yellow light sometime. Clear your mind and become completely present, or as much as possible. Stay focussed and soon seconds will feel hours--you'll find you really do have the power to exert mind over matter, to take responsibility for your reality. Do this at a safe distance from the street--I can't in good conscience recommend to a minor the preferred way, which is to stand directly in the center of the vehicle right-of-way. The Wise Ones say if an entity is totally purified of earthly distraction, the cars will pass right through them. 

GG II: Wow, this has been really eye-opening. Thanks for your time. 

AD: Thanks to you, young Gabe. You are an Entity among Entities. 

Editor's Note: Due to Rev. Dais' insistence one personal privacy, Gabriel conducted the interview through an intermediary--it took nearly a week to relay the questions and responses back and forth. We have edited the transcript to give it the feel of seamless, in-person interaction. It reads like they were in the same room, didn't you think?

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Video Korner

Friendly greeting, reader. Today The Korner brings you the latest installment in the attention-grabbing videographical exploits of one Cube A. Sick. When asked to provide a kreator's statement on the work, Mr. Sick declined, stating that to provide any komment would irreparably damage his kharisma. But doesn't silence itself speak deafening volumes? In any case, here's the vid: