Thursday, May 26, 2011

Poet's Korner

I never thought to
cut a tree until
we invented
the saw.
But now I'm up to
my earlobes in
sticks, twigs
and logs.
I can't move in any
meaningful way
and eating is
a challenge.
I've tried sucking
from the
pillow smothering
me of late but
sap doesn't
hit the

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Komik Korner

Here's some light fare:

Served up by Hadley Daughterson

Friday, May 13, 2011

Shit's Hit the Fan Korner

We do not deny that The Korner is kurrently in khaos. Lines have been drawn in the sand, turning kreator against kreator. By our estimate it's the worst bout of in-fighting and factionalization the Kause has suffered since the Westphalian Skism of 1926. But like all korners, the ever-unfolding story of Kreationism is cyclical. A startling sixth page story published in the Bench Triweekly Dispatch-Intelligencer this morning reports an event of no small magnitude that may very well serve as a harbinger of restored fellowship and prosperity. We pray to whatever god(s) we believe in that this article portends the hastening of our return to liberté, égalité and fraternité. Scan:

Chas Murdoch On The Run!
KSW chief wanted for securities fraud evades authorities
By D'Arcy Stroud, Staff Writer

Early this morning a joint strike team consisting of Dept. of Agriculture and Securities and Exchange Commission personnel raided the Boise Foothills home of local venture capitalist and heir Chas Murdoch only to find the midcentury modern cantilevered residence deserted.
Authorities have spent months building a case against Murdoch for allegedly using his clout to defraud investors and fix soybean prices on various commodities exchanges.
"Murdoch's a menace," said Sib Stanley, special agent in charge of the crackdown. "He represents the worst kind of exploitative sleaziness in our society. It's only a matter of time before we track down and prosecute that scum."
Murdoch is best known locally as the benefactor of The Kreation Korner, a contingent of self-proclaimed "kreationists" who publish a blog of the same name. He is also known internationally as the jet setting CEO of Kreation Systems Worldwide and one-time juror at the now defunct Kannes Film Festival.
"It doesn't surprise me," said Tony Stevenson, local businessman and longtime Kreation Korner reader, of the incident. "Ever since Murdoch started meddling in the kreative process the Korner hasn't been the same. Something seemed off about the guy."
According to Korner kontributor Huey Dood, Murdoch's overbearing management style was often a detriment.
"He was like the domineering stepfather to our rebellious young man--always cramping our style," Dood explained. "Turns out he was a stepfather with a dark side, as many of us have suspected for some time."
The Kreation Korner sees Murdoch's flight from the law as an opportunity, despite the loss of their sole funding source.
"We're excited to return to some back-to-basics Kreationism, without the corporate influence," Dood said. "After what's left of our slush fund dries up, though, we'll have to hook up with a dynamic financier whose heart and assets are unfrozen. We're realists at the end of the day."
A $10,000 reward has been posted for Murdoch's capture, dead or alive.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Solidarity Korner

Gabe Gabriel here, reporting on an event that may just rip this whole Korner asunder, so that it is no longer a korner but simply two unadjoined walls, disunited from their kommon kreative kause. In the latest development surrounding the Banner Scandal (or "Bandal," if you will), KK kohorts Sprechen Sie Tronik have expressed solidarity with the mission of Nash Stillwater. In a statement released yesterday, and subsequently translated by our resident German impressionist, Herr Frau, SST had this to say:

"We will not support this injustice. The world expect our latest single for now two years, but will hold we without the collaboration of the Chas Murdoch our gift to us. It is your choice, Chas."

aTom, one-half of Sprechen Sie Tronik

Needless to say, SST is speaking of a track entitled "Rhythm Is a One Who Dances." Beyond the title, little is known, but its release promise to be a momentous occasion, the delay of which will have untold consequences. Things certainlly are heating up around here, and that's apart from the fact that Ronald Raygun has filled our rec room with seven working Softubs. Keeping you posted on all things Kreative, this has been Gabe Gabriel. Back to you, blog.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Greetings, erstwhile komrades. I bring you an urgent plea for sanity. Earlier today while on a delivery run, I saw an emaciated Nash Stillwater staggering deliriously through a vacant lot. Naturally, I pulled over and whisked him off the street. Sure he's a rival. Arguably a sworn enemy. But how could I hang on to my ego in the face of human suffering? The information I obtained before he fainted was that he hadn't eaten in over a week as a form of nonviolent protest. He is in my care now, and I am nursing him back to health with a steady regiment of white omelets. I must say that I am shocked and appalled that the apparent state of things at The Korner would drive a sentient life form to such lengths as to deprive itself of sustenance. I'm even more shocked and more appalled that Stillwater's actions seem to have fallen on deaf ears. How sedated are you people? How can you be so callous and numb to this man's plight? Granted, there will be a day in the foreseeable future when the world we know will come crumbling down around us and conventional notions of morality and decency will be scrapped for the necessity of survival, but until then we need to uphold the welfare of all beings--especially the genuinely kreative ones! I hope in earnest that you all deviate from your current heading of jaded hard-heartedness and embrace Nash as I have. Turns out he and I aren't all that different. Like me, he has an unwavering conviction for what he knows is right and the sand to express his feelings loud and clear for all to hear. I'd say I've even started to like the guy. What a capricious universe we inhabit. Anyways, this isn't a threat. Not for now. Just know that this chicanery in the name of Kreationism is an abomination and mustn't persist. More extreme measures may be necessary if you all don't shape up!

--P. Doe