Sunday, November 30, 2008

Whoomp There It Is!

Hello, all! In spite of our economic woes, we must continue! Special thanks go out to Hank Shelton for keeping this ship afloat in what seemed like the last hour. He has since been inducted as an honorary Kreationist.

But enough catch-up, here's the straight mustard. Submitted anonymously, this strident short story had all the markings of an original beatnik kreation. Resident counter-culture expert Tonny Ergheim's in-depth analysis of structure and syntax nearly confirmed it, but not before a nineteen-year-old Korner intern identified certain clues within the text that pointed to a later publication date. Regardless, these subtle hints are mere icing on this harsh, facts-of-life cake.

the mu zik flowed out his insterment like creame cheez on a litely toasted bagel he was a site to behold. changed the way the hole gang
the mob men were in town n causing ruukus all about well 1 nite thay happend upon old good davey. they say to him play us that what we luv so-well. play us that chumba
wumba. well davey about had a con-ipshun. he waled away at marcy playground insted. the boiz got to push-ing and fuss-ing so davey
changed his tune wunce more this time he layed down some 4 nonblondes.
chumbawumba they hollerd.
semisonic he playd. so
the mob

Monday, November 10, 2008

Hi, this is Hank Shelton. I don't pretend to know what this "kreation korner" is. I don't even think it's spelled right, but that's beside the point. I recently found a cassette tape washed up in a storm drain near my house. Curiosity being one of my best qualities, I decided to have a listen and what I heard sounded pretty dire. Again, I AM IN NO WAY affiliated with the kreation korner, but I felt the need to warn whoever it is that this webpage pertains to anyway. Here is the message, as best I can understand it:

"Uh, folks, Nate Rhombus(?) here. We're real sorry about the current state of things, and we've tried to keep quiet in order to appease the investors, but, well, we seem to have run clean out of kreativity(?). Maybe all that brown acid we took a week or so back in a botched attempt at a group vision quest has finally taken its toll. Maybe the blame lies with the market -- most of us have had to sell our possessions and have now taken up residence in a lean-to out back of the Kreation Headquarters. Peter Doe refuses to join us. He's cooped up in his Buick LeSabre, but it's a convertible, so I don't really know how he plans to keep dry. Umm, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Whatever the reason for our current predicament, it is indeed a sad state of affairs around the HQ of late. Many of us, ghosts of our former kreative selves, simply sit at the group television and laugh emptily at whatever programming the Weather Channel offers. Until further notice, just, uh, do, ummm, whatever I guess. Yeah. We'll figure something out."