Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Perspective Korner

Friends, hello. It's been 20 of our days since that hand-scrawled enigma regarding The Worrisome Truth entered our reality. We write to you today not in a state of crescendoing panic as before but in an only slightly rattled state easing towards calm now that we have reframed the unsettling incident as an opportunity to be humbled. There are forces at play across the multiverse that we simply cannot understand, at least not for now. This sort of uncouth awakening has befallen us before, and we suspect this time won't be the last. Such is the cyclical nature of humility. We will take the necessary care and do the necessary work to continue to unravel the knots in our chests, in our throats, and in the pits of our stomachs. We will, of course, remain vigilant for opportunities to exercise our agency upon the world around us towards positive ends, but we will endeavor to not waste precious time and energy wringing our hands and pacing about over that which we cannot control. We have taken the words of Daniel A. Thomason to heart, which we've reduced down to "Kreation is what you make it." Interesting that it took him decades of skolarship to arrive at what we already knew. We guess we're stronger than we gave ourselves kredit for. Kreation is what you make it. Today, Kreation is a photo of discarded celery rib segments snapped in the break room at the Kreation Korner HQ:

Now that our palates are sufficiently cleansed, let us put this Worrisome Truth business to the side for now and exhale mightily. Time to get back to work! --Staff of Kreation

Sunday, January 14, 2018

An Answer To Question

Greetings, Kreation Korner staff. My name is Daniel A. Thomason, and, as I'm guessing you're not aware, I'm one of the world's foremost Kreationism scholars. I saw your last post (I see all of them) and am writing to provide you with some book learning that should answer a lot of your questions and hopefully alleviate some of your anxiety:

The Worrisome Truth (translated from the original German die besorgniserregende Wahrheit) is a malevolent force in the Kreation mythos that utterly extinguishes Kreative energy. The concept dates back to the earliest days of the Kreationism Movement. A prevailing belief among Kreation mystics is that The Worrisome Truth reveals itself to overly-ambitious Kreators who undergo Kreative Ascension but are ill-prepared. The Worrisome Truth punishes them by killing their Kreative spirit for eternity. Only those protected by the Staff of Kreation may overcome The Worrisome Truth and ascend. Many say it was The Worrisome Truth that sapped movement founder Thor Gustav Kreationssen late in his life, causing him to never again Kreate and die penniless in obscurity. These are legends that have neither faced nor withstood empirical scrutiny. An increasingly-popular interpretation (from the authoritative Thomason Commentary) of the core texts underpinning the Kreationism Movement (the Kreation Kodex) is a little more realistic, submitting that The Worrisome Truth is just that Kreation is a construct, not some preternatural cognizance that only the anointed may access. In other words, Kreation is what you make it and anyone can be a Kreator--a notion devastating to some, empowering to others.

Well, that's Worrisome Truth 101. Certainly a fringe concept, but I must say I'm disappointed in The Korner for its lack of erudition in regards to Kreative esoterica. Then again, academic rigor has all but vanished from the Movement, leaving tired pedants like myself to carry an ever-dimming torch. Anyways, I wouldn't worry about the anonymous note. Probably just the work of practical jokester who read one of my books.

Yours In Kreation,
Daniel A. Thomason, KhD

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Help Us Help Ourselves

Good whatever-time-of-day-this-is-for-you to you. So far, 2018 has been uncharacteristically uneventful for us here at The Kreation Korer. Imagine our surprise, then, when we found the following mysterious manila envelope and an even more mysterious enclosed document on our doormat this morning:

Quite the head-scratcher. Our kwestions so far:

1. Who wrote this strange passage and why?
2. Who sent it to us and why?
3. What is "The Worrisome Truth"?
4. Where is this "waiting room?" Is it material or metaphor?
5. Who is T.G.K.? Kreationism Movement founder Thor Gustav Kreationssen?
6. Who is C.P.? Our new komptroller Crist Peoples?
7. Why is "Will" capitalized? Is Will a person? Who the hell is Will?
8. Why does this kind of shit keep happening to us?!

As you can imagine, the entire staff is currently racked with acute fear and konfusion (and maybe a little self-pity) on account of this ominous and obscure kommunique. But we must ground ourselves and not dwell in our emotions. The time for dispassionate inquiry is now. We must devote all our psychological resources to solving the problem of whether or not this is a problem, and, if it is, solving that problem. We need all the help we can get to decipher this message. We cannot take it lightly--for if this Worrisome Truth proves veracious, the entire existence of Kreation may be at stake, as outlandish as that sounds. Please send us any insights or theories you may have to aid us in bringing this worrisome chapter to a swift konklusion.

Stay Strong,
TKK Staff