Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Komedy Korner

My apartment's so dirty, when I spill a cup of water, I just call it "cleaning."

I currently own a hat store specializing in yarmulkes. We're called Mazel Tops.

I watched a documentary about Afghanistan last night. It felt Kabul'd together.

-Tuner Jazzman

Friday, February 20, 2015

Konsolation Korner

After yesterday's startling announcement from Jawn Steighmeaus, we're understandably a bit shaken up here at The Korner. Although we respect and accept Jawn's decision to kwit kreating, we remain in a state of kollective grief. At this stage, we're scrambling to understand our former fictioneer's impetus for this sudden and brazen move. Maybe he just had a bum trip. Or maybe he was legitimately struck by a revelation about the true nature of Kreation. In any case, the implications for our organization are far-reaching and the time for introspection is now. It will certainly take time to work through all this. But for the time being, the center must hold lest the very garment of kreativity burst at the seams! To that end, we present today a piece that will relieve our troubled minds and assure us that everything will be ok. Edited by Hadley Daughterson, it's entitled "Michael McDonald's Sweaty Neck." Be soothed:

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Fiction Korner

Dear Friends,
Today I announce with a heavy heart my untimely resignation from The Kreation Korner. This decision was not an easy one but, in light of a recent personal crisis, was unavoidable. For nearly a year, I had been convinced I had reached a state of pure Kreative fulfillment and stability through Colonism, a practice bereft of insidious narrative. Unfortunately, this bliss was not to last. Yesterday, after I came out of my writing trance, I was shocked to find my work riddled with words, phrases and eventually even coherent sentences. This non-Colonist content seemed to have appeared in the work spontaneously, as if of its own will. This led me to the deeply troubling conclusion that, try as I might to the contrary, I cannot prevent the rough beast of narrative from asserting itself in my expression. All I can do to mitigate its progress as it slouches ever forward is to slam shut my Kreative aperture, to stifle its banshee cry in some modest way. Though I can't fully vanquish the beast, I can slow it somewhat by severing a gnarled pinky toe through vowing to never again write a single word. Rather than acting as an agent of deception and manipulation, I will do something productive with my time. I intend to pursue a childhood dream of working as a brakeman for a short-line railroad. Shunting freight is an honest day's work, and I sincerely hope it will set me on the track towards redemption. I leave you with my final story, the fruit of yesterday's fateful labor. May it serve as a stern admonition to not take lightly the creeping, corrupting influence of narrative in fiction.
Jawn Steighmeaus

agh, agh!!!:::::::::::::
agh, ugh::::agh, ugh::::::::::::::::
agh-ugh, aghugh
augh!!:::::::::augured out::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::stump::::::::::::::::::::::::::hole:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::big::::::::::::::::::::augh::::::::::::::::enough:::::stuff:::::::snuff:::::snuff box on the mantle we received at our house-warming party. The jade lid was a perfect metaphor for the life we shared--smooth and functional with an understated beauty, a beauty that could steal a sailor from the sea. One day, we discovered the jade snuff box was cursed. That was kind of awkward. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Korner Wisdom

Always bring a knife to a gunfight, just in case your gun jams.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Side Hustle Korner

Just when we think we have Chris Peebles pegged, a revelation is reveled to us and reminds us how futile an effort it is to pigeonhole Kreationists into finite, arbitrary kategories. While we could make this statement apropos of nothing, it was in fact provoked this day by an inciting incident--the discovery of a new blog side project by Peebles hitherto unknown to his Korner komrades. It's called "Boise Splits" and it seems to be a field guide of sorts for an idiosyncratic style of squat office building such as the one housing our own HQ. We're not sure where Chris is going with this exploration of urban periphery, but we find it strangely transfixing in its uncharacteristically unembellished, bookish manner. Knowing our friend, he may well be laying the substratum for a whole new field of important scholarly discourse. Click: