Kommentary Korner

I'm the kind of guy who enjoys the finer things in life: clothing, shelter, water, etc. But what I really get my kicks out of is food. I can't live without the stuff! But in these uncertain times, it's tough to find victuals that are equally easy on the taste buds as they are on the pocketbook. That's why I reach for a frozen pizza whenever I'm within the rectangular confines of the Tsar Mart. Price-to-quality ratio is an important consideration whenever I'm in the market for provisions and 'za delivers the most bang for one's buck--or any unit of currency for that matter. Anyways, I was doing my monthly grocery shopping earlier today, and I had to make a most vexing decision of whether to choose Tombstone, Red Baron, or Tony's brand pizza. Whoever said "variety is the spice of life" must not have had to pick between three equally affordable pizza options. With each pie tied in terms of cheapness, I found the only way to reach a culinary conclusion was to roll up my sleeves and evaluate each product's marketing scheme. First off, Tombstone. This name conjured two motifs: the Old West and embalming--neither of which pertain directly to pizza or are particularly appetizing or even sanitary. I wasn't convinced. Next, Red Baron. When I looked at the triumphant, aviator cap-wearing aviator on the box, I wondered, what does Manfred von Richthofen have to do with pizza? Sure, this Prussian ace had 80+ confirmed kills, a feat impressive even by modern dogfighting standards, but does this make him a credible mascot for largely Italianate cuisine? Nein! Finally, Tony's. Now this is what I call authentic. A stocky, grinning chef complete with olive complexion, bushy mustache and tomato hat--is anything more Italian than that? Ok, maybe Galileo gesturing wildly with his hands as he models the latest from the Milan runway while floating down a chianti canal in a gondola made of penne--but I defy you to find a frozen pizza with that on the box. Thanks to Tony's and its tastes of Tuscany as portended by the packaging, I don't have to sacrifice my refined dining habits during these lean times we live in.
--Peter Doe

KreationKast

In case you hadn't noticed, the radio portion of our enklave of kreativity has posted an enlightening interview with none other than Chris Peebles. Drink up!

Chris Peebles Interview

Guess Who's Back In Town!

If you said "the boys" you're wrong, and you also need to get that dial off the classic rock station. We're speaking of Chris Peebles, goofball! Recently, our prodigal poet completed a much-publicized tour, promoting the Kreation Kause across the West and several parts of Texas. In his wake, he left legions of mortals enlightened to within inches of their lives. To wrap up the "Truth-Beauty-Decapitation Tour '10" as it was dubbed, Dr. Peebles returned to The College of Idaho for an unparalleled feat of Kreative kraftsmanship. Let's just say that small liberal arts college will need a new stage, because Chris tore theirs up! Freebase:

Komedy Korner

I left my heart in San Francisco. My liver's in St. Louis...

-Boo Merengue

Korner Wisdom

Home is where the cardiac muscle whose purpose is to circulate blood through the body is.

-Tuner Jazzman

Snappy Tom Knows

Dear Snappy, I can't seem to find my keys. When you lose something, how do you go about reclaiming it?

Sincerely, Lost Without You



Hello, Lost. Well, when I lose something, first thing I do is try to retrace my steps. This is always the hardest part of the process, because it means I have to walk backward for upwards of a day or two. And you try talking a bus driver into reversing their route through downtown Atlanta, ID! But, if the stars align in the heavens above, I'm like as not led back to the very spot where I left my missing belonging. After that, ain't nothing left but to celebrate with a handle of moonshine and a fistful of congealed bacon grease.

Komedy Korner

The old "Donkey in a Top Hat" bit as told by Svetlana Mendoza, Part II:

"I don't think so," said the foreman, "I gotta memory like a steel trap. I know you."
The donkey let out a long sigh and then began to thoughtfully munch on a carrot.
"You can't eat in here! Read the sign," said the foreman, "Or are you illiterate like all those other animals I know?"

To Be Kontinued...