Sunday, January 14, 2018

An Answer To Question

Greetings, Kreation Korner staff. My name is Daniel A. Thomason, and, as I'm guessing you're not aware, I'm one of the world's foremost Kreationism scholars. I saw your last post (I see all of them) and am writing to provide you with some book learning that should answer a lot of your questions and hopefully alleviate some of your anxiety:

The Worrisome Truth (translated from the original German die besorgniserregende Wahrheit) is a malevolent force in the Kreation mythos that utterly extinguishes Kreative energy. The concept dates back to the earliest days of the Kreationism Movement. A prevailing belief among Kreation mystics is that The Worrisome Truth reveals itself to overly-ambitious Kreators who undergo Kreative Ascension but are ill-prepared. The Worrisome Truth punishes them by killing their Kreative spirit for eternity. Only those protected by the Staff of Kreation may overcome The Worrisome Truth and ascend. Many say it was The Worrisome Truth that sapped movement founder Thor Gustav Kreationssen late in his life, causing him to never again Kreate and die penniless in obscurity. These are legends that have neither faced nor withstood empirical scrutiny. An increasingly-popular interpretation (from the authoritative Thomason Commentary) of the core texts underpinning the Kreationism Movement (the Kreation Kodex) is a little more realistic, submitting that The Worrisome Truth is just that Kreation is a construct, not some preternatural cognizance that only the anointed may access. In other words, Kreation is what you make it and anyone can be a Kreator--a notion devastating to some, empowering to others.

Well, that's Worrisome Truth 101. Certainly a fringe concept, but I must say I'm disappointed in The Korner for its lack of erudition in regards to Kreative esoterica. Then again, academic rigor has all but vanished from the Movement, leaving tired pedants like myself to carry an ever-dimming torch. Anyways, I wouldn't worry about the anonymous note. Probably just the work of practical jokester who read one of my books.

Yours In Kreation,
Daniel A. Thomason, KhD

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Help Us Help Ourselves

Good whatever-time-of-day-this-is-for-you to you. So far, 2018 has been uncharacteristically uneventful for us here at The Kreation Korer. Imagine our surprise, then, when we found the following mysterious manila envelope and an even more mysterious enclosed document on our doormat this morning:

Quite the head-scratcher. Our kwestions so far:

1. Who wrote this strange passage and why?
2. Who sent it to us and why?
3. What is "The Worrisome Truth"?
4. Where is this "waiting room?" Is it material or metaphor?
5. Who is T.G.K.? Kreationism Movement founder Thor Gustav Kreationssen?
6. Who is C.P.? Our new komptroller Crist Peoples?
7. Why is "Will" capitalized? Is Will a person? Who the hell is Will?
8. Why does this kind of shit keep happening to us?!

As you can imagine, the entire staff is currently racked with acute fear and konfusion (and maybe a little self-pity) on account of this ominous and obscure kommunique. But we must ground ourselves and not dwell in our emotions. The time for dispassionate inquiry is now. We must devote all our psychological resources to solving the problem of whether or not this is a problem, and, if it is, solving that problem. We need all the help we can get to decipher this message. We cannot take it lightly--for if this Worrisome Truth proves veracious, the entire existence of Kreation may be at stake, as outlandish as that sounds. Please send us any insights or theories you may have to aid us in bringing this worrisome chapter to a swift konklusion.

Stay Strong,
TKK Staff

Sunday, December 31, 2017

New Year, New Yacht

They said wordplay is played out. They said yacht humor is cliched at this point. I said, do you have a better analogy for jettisoning the baggage of the past year and starting fresh in the new? They said nothing. So here goes--as we prepare to launch from the maddening marina of 2017, let us remember to maximize our pleasure each moment amidst the unrivaled luxury on board as we negotiate the uncertain but navigable waters of 2018. For those of you without access to a sea-craft of any kind, remember that your mind is a yacht and anywhere you are--even dry land--is a body of water. My sincerest wish for 2018 is that all sentient beings on this or any planet may steer their vessels toward the archipelago of unity and assemble a fleet of harmonious coexistence. 
--Capt. Gooding

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Fiktion Korner

"A sharing economy is a caring economy"

The other day while walking down the pedestrian guideway to the Subaru Dictatorship I ran into an old friend who said, "hey, what do you think of this for a science-fiction-mystery-type story? What if in the not-so-distant future technology has evolved to the point where one's entire mind, memories, consciousness, unconsciousness, in other words, their 'self' can be extracted and implanted into the brain of another body? And then a whole industry emerges around people renting out their body's for others to use. People would do this because the world has become increasingly inhospitable because technology and policy innovations to stem the tide of environmental and societal disaster haven't kept pace with, say, technology to decouple someone's consciousness from their biological matrix and map it onto somebody else's. With the income from temporarily housing the portable selves of others, one could afford the vast price of living a full and happy life in one of the planet's heavily gentrified 'climate havens.' Part of the cost, however, is that you only get to live in your body for about two months a year and you rent it out to 'hosts' the remaining time with your self stored in stasis, which would feel to you upon returning to your body as waking up from one night's dream. Sort of a quality over quantity thing. But then some science fiction thing happens, like you wake up with fragments of memory or personality left behind by previous hosts and question the nature of being and the 'self.' Or, for something more dramatic, one of your hosts commits a heinous crime while inhabiting your body and a taut thrill ride unfolds. Ethical questions abound. Seems like pretty good social commentary, no? Plus just an exciting story, potentially. I should write this. Has this been done? I'm sure something like this has been done. I haven't quite worked out why people would rent your body in this what-if scenario. It's probably been done."
I replied to my friend, "what an intriguing idea. I recommend you follow your dreams. Good day."
We parted ways. What an insightful and rewarding friendship transaction.
Minutes later, a Subaru Ambassador said to me, "hey, didn't I sell you an Impressive last week? As I recall, the transaction was both insightful and rewarding."
"Must have been one of my hosts," I replied. "I only just came out of stasis this morning."

--Known Universe

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Komik Korner

Feelin' alright?

--Hadley Daughterson

Monday, December 4, 2017

The Korner Kares...More!

You may have noticed our last post, the one in which Huey Dood used our platform to trumpet some, shall we say, views largely unpopular around the HQ. While a majority of our staff views Big Tech with suspicion and caution rather than as a panacea for all the world's ills, we welcome dissenting opinions, misguided and damaging to the fabric of society as they may be. To push back against Dood and thus kreate dialogue, we would like to promote an upcoming event called The Concert To Demand Silicon Valley* To Take Responsibility For The Deleterious Consequences It's Products And Services Have Had. What is this concert's purpose? It's all in the name. It'll be a star-studded event headlined by none other than Living Documents. Any worthy kause that can manage to get the famously volatile duo of Peebles and Wright to work together again is no slouch and deserves our full support. The concert is free to the public and will be held at various locations around the inland Pacific Northwest next summer--pay attention to the alternative press for specific dates, times, and venues to be announced throughout the next several months. For the time being, let us enjoy the following sneak peak at the all-new material Living Documents are kreating exclusively for the show. React to:

*"Silicon Valley" is used herein as a metonym for the high tech industrial sector, particularly social media companies, not as a reference to the geographic region or its denizens.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

The Korner Kares

Hello. This is Huey Dood. I recently attended a truly inspirational event at the Red Lion ballroom. It was called #DisruptInnovation-Boise, and was a veritable "who's who"of north Ada County's tech elite. I was surprised to see one-time Kreation Korner intern Chad Joe deliver one of the keynotes. Turns out he's the co-founder and chief visionary officer of education-as-a-service startup MindThought. He really disrupted the way I think about how we educate our young. Chad says books and papers and exams aren't what prepare kids for the careers of tomorrow. Chad says children must cultivate a strong personal brand to differentiate themselves in the increasingly competitive job market. Chad couldn't have made more sense--I'm proud to say I drank his Kool-Aid! It soon occurred to me that a good "hack" to help MindThought radicalize our students would be to leverage The Kreation Korner's highly visible platform as a thought leader to disseminate several sharable electronic image-text files to raise awareness and demonstrate the importance of personal brands to the parents and guardians of the talent pool of the future. Even if this content helps just one million kids find and monetize their personal brand, my modest effort to help change the world will not have been in vain. #DisruptInnovation-Boise #disrupt #innovation #boise #MindThought #alltheyoungdoods