Time for more Kuest highlights! During our now infamous stay in that flat, rectangular state known as Kansas, we had the rare fortune of adding a new member to the esteemed ranks of the Kreation Krew. Her name is Svetlana Mendoza, and she is a crafter of alternative jokes by trade. Typically, the Korner dismisses "jokes" as cheap, low-brow fodder for feeble-minded dunderheads. With Svetlana, however, we had to make an exception. The true Kreative energy koursing through her multi-layered, unorthodox witticisms had us all in stitches. We're just glad that she happened to wander through our encampment, also in search of kreative inspiration in the Kansasian wilderness. We have here today several of Svetlana's finest gags. We hope your reaction is both jocular and insightful. Consume:
A man with no eyes walks into a bar.
"What can I get you?" asks the barkeep.
"Got a pair of eyes?" asks the man.
"Sorry. We're clean out," says the barkeep.
So the man says, "Well, in that case I'll just have an ear."
A man and a woman are sitting on a park bench.
"What am I thinking about?" says the woman to the man.
"Sports highlights," replies the man.
"How did you know that?!?" asks the woman, stunned.
"I have ESPN," replies the man.
A lawyer, a mercenary, and a doctor all die and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter asks them, "How did each of you spend your lives?"
"I tracked down helpless car crash victims and cheated them out of thousands of dollars," replies the lawyer.
"I was hired by governments all across the world to commit despicable acts of murder," replies the mercenary.
"I illegally wrote myself prescriptions for Vicodin to fuel my ravenous narcotics addiction," replies the doctor.
"I know," says Saint Peter, "I was just trying to make small talk. Welcome to the afterlife."