Poet's Korner

If a man at the wharf
licked my eye
I’d get all mad.
I’d say, “easy on the
cornea, partner!”

He’d attempt to dismiss
it as nothing, but
I’d call bullshit.

When you’re giving a
guy a free carrying-a-
parrot-on-your-shoulder
lesson you don’t lick his
eye when he least expects.

It’s bad karma and unhygienic,
not to mention a betrayal
of trust.

I’d recognize the corsair
was bummed ‘cause he only
had one eye but that doesn’t
give him free reign
over mine.

Ask first. I usually say
yes. Otherwise, keep your
salty tongue to yourself,
you impetuous seadog.

xoxo chris peebles xoxo

Komedy Korner

Q: Why did the street mime handcuff the passerby to the heat register in his studio apartment?

A: He wanted a captive audience.

--Svetlana Mendoza

You sit there pickin your nose, yeah i see you, but do you. see you?
because you see what you are picking
is the future, you're knuckle-deep in it.
diggin for gold, the gold standard, standard ops.
obsolete ops.
your gold standard man it's not gold for long.
pick brains not noses.

$$$sex$$$you$$$up

Komik Korner

Now that the afterglow of our 100th post is finally in its death throes, we here at The Korner can focus our attention on other kreative endeavors. Namely, a much awaited kartoon from our own Hadley Daughterson. Not only is her work just really goddamn good art, it contains sundry profound messages as well. You wouldn't put that past us now, would you? Mull:

Disappointment Korner

Alright, so we've been waiting on this little shit Percy Stankowski for three goddamn weeks now. In the spirit of our 100th post, he claimed to be working on a celebratory interpretive video especially for the Korner. And for weeks, we waited. We put off other potential posts in the hopes that little Mr. Filmmaker would come through. And guess what? He didn't. So, after several non-alcoholic mudslides, I have figured out a solution to fill the empty void left by this director's-chair-having, beret-wearing, film-school shitbird: we post the shooting script. Use your imagination, folks, and bring the story to life for yourselves!

FADE IN:

EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DUSK

A man stands with hat in hand, peering into it. He methodically shoves his foot through its top and sets it on fire. The man's voice is high and grating.


MAN
This hat never had no corners. But look at it now. May the circle be unbroken.


The man shuffles hurriedly to the side, and a young girl in a flowery dress takes center stage, jump-roping expertly. The man shouts at her earnestly.

MAN
Spiders! Books! Religion! Prose! Religion! Prose! Religion! Computers! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Sports! Bombs! Capitalism! Self-serve! Soft-serve! No service! Out of bounds!

The girls stops her jump-roping and takes a bow.


MAN
Thank you, dear. (To the audience) So now you see what we are up against. Shine your copper pennies, good denizens. The time is nearly upon us.

FADE OUT

A Message From Chris Peebles

As promised, The Korner brings you today happy 100th post wishes from one of our most valued kontributors, Chris Peebles. In this poignant, heart-felt video address, Peebles honors us with his deft manipulation of the English language. If you're like us, you'll even have to hold back a few tears. Thank you, Chris. As always, you humble and flatter us.

The Century Mark

Well, ladies and gents, it's been a wild and crazy ride up to this point, but I am glad to present to you the Kreation Korner's 100th post! We at the KKHQ were ecstatic to have reached such a milestone -- in fact, we might have gone a little overboard. What started as a couple of the Kreationists enjoying YouTube videos over wine spritzers quickly turned into drunken mess of Percy's-Own mescaline and vast quantities of red beer. And so, as I soothe my aching head with a bag of frozen snow-peas, I must tell you: we blew it. We have no real post, nothing to show for this momentous occasion but our own revelry. Luckily, however, Gabe Gabriel was there to capture all the night's festivities with his new-fangled "point and shoot camera." Not sure what that means, not sure that you do either, but for those interested, we will be posting some belated 100th post submissions from some of our most celebrated kreationists in the weeks to come. Anyway, bring on the dancing pictures:


The man of the hour!


The entertainment.


Dance party!


GRECH and Lee Watt performing the Two'fer.


Chris Peebles and maljohn in an argument which brought the evening to a close.