Sunday, April 14, 2013

Fiktion Korner

Part I.

Part II.

Part III. of III. The blood comes in dribbles at first. As the bus moves, the blood is inclined to trail through the air on a parabolic trajectory which spatters his feet, torso, and occasionally his face. Before long, there is a thud, dropped like an extra-large workboot onto the roof of the bus. Angry starlings career through the emergency exit and into the cabin of the bus, he feels their sharp beaks and oily, beating wings on his face. He smells their feverish animalism. They are after the larvae which have appeared, he knows not where from, on the bus floor. What little light now enters the bus has become by turns decayed greens, burning reds. The thudding object is rolling in some imperfect manner from the front of the bus toward the overhead exit. Some exit, he thinks. And he knows the world is purging itself. And how quaint, he thinks, that a municipal transit authority would install such a strange metaphysical apparatus and call it by the mundane name of "emergency exit."

This has been "The Transit Authority Has a Sick Sense of Humor," by Tum Cruz. Look for his other works in the romance aisle of a Krim Kram's Bargain Mart near you!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Trend Alert!

Here's what's trending:

1. Margaret Thatcher

2. North Korea

3. Texas college attack

4. Children abducted

5. Bird flu

6. Tennessee gun death

7. Annette Funicello

8. Louisville

Have a trendy day!

(Trends courtesy of CNN Trends)

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Kandor Korner

"A kreative act or work is as much what it is not as what it is. So when I tell you a tedious, hackneyed, uninteresting joke, I'm simultaneously telling you the most inventive, sidesplitting and thought-provoking joke you've ever heard. You're welcome."

--Svetlana Mendoza 

Monday, April 1, 2013

Video Korner

Last September, an anonymous filmmaker insinuated a mysterious video into our midst. At the time, we wondered if and when this guerilla kreationist would strike again. Our wonder was assuaged the other day when one of our technicians noticed some unfamiliar frames strewn on the editing bay floor. After several sleepless nights, we have managed to painstakingly cut together a coherent short we believe is true to our unknown kontributor's intent (the frames were numbered). What remains unsettling is how this elusive weaver of moving images was able to infiltrate his work right under our noses. Granted, we have a literal open-door policy, but still, you'd think somebody would have noticed a stranger coming or going. Peep game:

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Epikurean Korner

Today we unveil, or rather uncap, a new feature on The Kreation Korner. It's a paean to the finer things in life that delight the palate, both hard and soft. Although the daily life of a Kreationist is a spartan one marked by restraint and simple sustenance, we'd be unbalanced as human experiencers if we didn't indulge in the exquisite every now and then. For our first stab at this brave new genre, we present to you a promising young food and beverage writer named Harvey Betschbenghar. His delectable prose conjures imagery so vivid it's as if you're enjoying an intimate yet casual dining experience right there in the privacy of your own e-reader. Perhaps you'll envision ragged, under-paid servers milling about below dim rafters, delivering polenta fries and hoppy libations to a caste of Patagonia-clad patrons. Harvey's objective today is to bring us his three top local beer picks for the month of March. Turns out, craft lagers and ales are a pretty big deal here in the West. Sip:

Leopold's Revenge Belgian Ale
Severed Hand Brewpub & Community Still - Bellevue, ID - 9.9% ABV
When I rode a penny-farthing across Belgium and crashed in farmhouses after college, I fell in love with the yeasty nectar that is Belgian witbier. Once I returned stateside, however, its been one disappoint after another sampling the not-so-dĂ©licieux wannabe white ales of yankee brewers. That is, until my tongue touched the fermented revelation that is Leopold's Revenge. Brewed in open vats in a central Idaho barn, this ale is authentic right down to the wild yeast and bits of owl shit. A

Tedious Urbanite Bacon Arugula Porter
Pompous Motherfucker Ales - Washougal, WA - 7.1% ABV
Given the popularity of both micro-brewing and charcuterie in the Pacific Northwest, it's astonishing the two are only now joining in malty matrimony. Let's run through the logic, shall we: I like bacon. I like beer. Therefore, I must like bacon-beer. Also, the arugula lends a pleasant crispness and deep, verdant complexion. B+

Hop for Red Hoptober Quadruple-Hopped IPA Starring Hop Connery and Alec Hopwin
Busted Antler Brewing Co. - Juntura, OR - 13.7% ABV
Busted Antler has only been open for business four days and already they're cranking out some truly rock 'n' roll concoctions. Hoptober is the favorite pour at the company's tasting room and it overwhelms the senses. Unremitting and unrelenting, calling it an India Pale Ale is a rather liberal definition--it's really just a big glass of Cascade hops. So yeah, pretty epic. A-

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Fiktion Korner

Part II. of III. He finds his seat, carefully orienting his body to fall into the seat with minimal fanfare. Then he checks to see that all his essentials are secured in their appropriate places -- phone, miniature Japanese day-planner, the mechanical pencil that still has lead in it, wallet, keys. Assuaged of any fear of loss, he now sits, waiting for the determinate length of time it will likely take him to reach his destination. As our bodies are in subconscious communion with the tides, he is similarly privy to the private machinations of this public transportation service, so that he knows within five minutes when he will arrive at any given point in the city. As he sits, his gaze is drawn toward the hatch marked "Emergency Exit," almost directly overhead. It has been opened for ventilation, and the hatch now appears as a disembodied plastic rectangle, its four edges bordered by the things which pass overhead as the bus continues its halting progress. Azure blue, followed by rushing and amorphous black shapes (likely the foliage of large trees), pass through this strange reverse-frame to which he has found access. Then he notices the blood.