Shit's Hit the Fan Korner

We do not deny that The Korner is kurrently in khaos. Lines have been drawn in the sand, turning kreator against kreator. By our estimate it's the worst bout of in-fighting and factionalization the Kause has suffered since the Westphalian Skism of 1926. But like all korners, the ever-unfolding story of Kreationism is cyclical. A startling sixth page story published in the Bench Triweekly Dispatch-Intelligencer this morning reports an event of no small magnitude that may very well serve as a harbinger of restored fellowship and prosperity. We pray to whatever god(s) we believe in that this article portends the hastening of our return to liberté, égalité and fraternité. Scan:


Chas Murdoch On The Run!
KSW chief wanted for securities fraud evades authorities
By D'Arcy Stroud, Staff Writer

Early this morning a joint strike team consisting of Dept. of Agriculture and Securities and Exchange Commission personnel raided the Boise Foothills home of local venture capitalist and heir Chas Murdoch only to find the midcentury modern cantilevered residence deserted.
Authorities have spent months building a case against Murdoch for allegedly using his clout to defraud investors and fix soybean prices on various commodities exchanges.
"Murdoch's a menace," said Sib Stanley, special agent in charge of the crackdown. "He represents the worst kind of exploitative sleaziness in our society. It's only a matter of time before we track down and prosecute that scum."
Murdoch is best known locally as the benefactor of The Kreation Korner, a contingent of self-proclaimed "kreationists" who publish a blog of the same name. He is also known internationally as the jet setting CEO of Kreation Systems Worldwide and one-time juror at the now defunct Kannes Film Festival.
"It doesn't surprise me," said Tony Stevenson, local businessman and longtime Kreation Korner reader, of the incident. "Ever since Murdoch started meddling in the kreative process the Korner hasn't been the same. Something seemed off about the guy."
According to Korner kontributor Huey Dood, Murdoch's overbearing management style was often a detriment.
"He was like the domineering stepfather to our rebellious young man--always cramping our style," Dood explained. "Turns out he was a stepfather with a dark side, as many of us have suspected for some time."
The Kreation Korner sees Murdoch's flight from the law as an opportunity, despite the loss of their sole funding source.
"We're excited to return to some back-to-basics Kreationism, without the corporate influence," Dood said. "After what's left of our slush fund dries up, though, we'll have to hook up with a dynamic financier whose heart and assets are unfrozen. We're realists at the end of the day."
A $10,000 reward has been posted for Murdoch's capture, dead or alive.

Breaking News [Electric Boogaloo]

Here's an update on the recent development drama from the Bench Triweekly Dispatch-Intelligencer online (and only) edition. We didn't read the entire article, but if the lede is any indication, The Korner is sitting pretty into the foreseeable future! Bust a nutgraf:

Arizona developer eying Boise Bench declares bankruptcy 
EUCLID revitalization plan on hold 
By D'Arcy Stroud, Staff Writer - Feb. 19, 2014 

Rio Rancho Con Fuego Del Sol LLC of Gilbert, Arizona has declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy, stalling the development company's plans for a large-scale rehab of the Bench's Emerald Urban Corridor Local Improvement District (EUCLID). 

In an interview with the Dispatch-Intelligencer, Rio Rancho head Hart Packard expressed his dismay over the news but remained confident that redevelopment of the Bench is inevitable. 

"It's not a matter of 'if' but of 'when'," Packard said. "I may have fallen, but there's a whole legion of developers behind me waiting in the wings, and they're poised to leverage the necessary assets to make the Bench a value-add for Boise." 

Rio Rancho's demise was met with alacrity by some Bench-dwellers. Huey Dood, spokesperson for The Kreation Korner, mentioned that he and his team are elated that the cityscape of the Bench will remain largely unaltered, at least for the time being. 

"The Bench is Boise's last outpost of authenticity," Dood said in an email. "Its urban grittiness and modest lease rates are kritical (critical) to our endeavors." 

The Boise City Mayor's Office declared that it will establish the Bench Commission, an independent working group tasked to investigate Rio Rancho Con Fuego Del Sol and determine whether or not the City acted too eagerly to allow a single developer to essentially have carte blanche over the reshaping of an entire neighborhood. 

A secondary objective of the Commission is to conduct an inquiry into how the controversial practice of "Kreation" has allegedly been occurring unchecked for years in direct violation of Boise's zoning ordinance for medium-density commercial areas.

Klosure Korner

Delicately torn from the headlines, below the fold:

Authorities collar Murdoch
Former KSW chief now in custody, ending five months on the lam
By D'Arcy Stroud, Bench Triweekly Dispatch Intelligencer

Early this morning a joint strike team consisting of Dept. of Agriculture and Securities and Exchange Commission personnel raided an appointment-only exotic imports warehouse on Wholesale Street in the Central Bench's light industrial district. After a small scuffle, Chas Murdoch, who appears to have been masquerading as the owner of Palawan Plunder Trading Co. under the assumed name Chase McMurdo, was taken into custody.
"You fools! You don't know how high up this goes!" the fugitive reportedly said as he was being restrained. 
Authorities were alerted to Murdoch's whereabouts when retired junior high school teacher Nancy Ditmars reported a suspicious incident at the import outlet.
"The owner, a really oily guy who made me uneasy to be frank, was trying to push this huge dining room table on me," Ditmars said. "He assured me it was made of teak salvaged from the doors of a ruined Indonesian monastery, but when I noticed the peeling laminate I saw this fraud for who he was and alerted the police."
"We're grateful for Ms. Ditmars' attention to detail and zero tolerance for bogus recycled building materials," said Special Agent in Charge Sib Stanley in a statement to the press. "We're pleased to put this ordeal behind us and see that justice is served."
At The Kreation Korner, a former subsidiary of Murdoch's Kreation Systems Worldwide, news of their former benefactor's capture was met with a mixture of elation and shock, as he had been hiding out only three blocks from the Korner's headquarters.
"Chas was a limited character in the story of our lives, and we're glad to see him go," said kontributor Gabe Gabriel. "This is a big day not just for the brick and mortar Korner but for the Korner in our hearts."
Pundits say the ensuing months following Murdoch's original flight from the law have proved something of a renaissance for The Kreation Korner, marked by a frenetic output of exciting and daring new "kontent."
"People will look back years from now and remember this time as the Kreative Spring," said whistleblower Damien Melange.
With Murdoch out of the picture, many critics have questioned The Kreation Korner's long-term financial viability. These concerns were assuaged, however, when Buenos Dias Productions head Greg Purt announced he would personally foot the bill for any of The Korner's outstanding expenses each month, no questions asked.
"It's the least I can do for Chris Peebles and his associates," Purt said. "After West Downtown swept the Sundance [Dodge] Film Festival, the fruits of Kreationism have literally and figuratively paid Buenos Dias' meal ticket."   
Chas Murdoch is slated to be arraigned Tuesday for numerous counts of racketeering in addition to several trumped up charges yet to be determined.