Friday, May 13, 2011

Shit's Hit the Fan Korner

We do not deny that The Korner is kurrently in khaos. Lines have been drawn in the sand, turning kreator against kreator. By our estimate it's the worst bout of in-fighting and factionalization the Kause has suffered since the Westphalian Skism of 1926. But like all korners, the ever-unfolding story of Kreationism is cyclical. A startling sixth page story published in the Bench Triweekly Dispatch-Intelligencer this morning reports an event of no small magnitude that may very well serve as a harbinger of restored fellowship and prosperity. We pray to whatever god(s) we believe in that this article portends the hastening of our return to liberté, égalité and fraternité. Scan:

Chas Murdoch On The Run!
KSW chief wanted for securities fraud evades authorities
By D'Arcy Stroud, Staff Writer

Early this morning a joint strike team consisting of Dept. of Agriculture and Securities and Exchange Commission personnel raided the Boise Foothills home of local venture capitalist and heir Chas Murdoch only to find the midcentury modern cantilevered residence deserted.
Authorities have spent months building a case against Murdoch for allegedly using his clout to defraud investors and fix soybean prices on various commodities exchanges.
"Murdoch's a menace," said Sib Stanley, special agent in charge of the crackdown. "He represents the worst kind of exploitative sleaziness in our society. It's only a matter of time before we track down and prosecute that scum."
Murdoch is best known locally as the benefactor of The Kreation Korner, a contingent of self-proclaimed "kreationists" who publish a blog of the same name. He is also known internationally as the jet setting CEO of Kreation Systems Worldwide and one-time juror at the now defunct Kannes Film Festival.
"It doesn't surprise me," said Tony Stevenson, local businessman and longtime Kreation Korner reader, of the incident. "Ever since Murdoch started meddling in the kreative process the Korner hasn't been the same. Something seemed off about the guy."
According to Korner kontributor Huey Dood, Murdoch's overbearing management style was often a detriment.
"He was like the domineering stepfather to our rebellious young man--always cramping our style," Dood explained. "Turns out he was a stepfather with a dark side, as many of us have suspected for some time."
The Kreation Korner sees Murdoch's flight from the law as an opportunity, despite the loss of their sole funding source.
"We're excited to return to some back-to-basics Kreationism, without the corporate influence," Dood said. "After what's left of our slush fund dries up, though, we'll have to hook up with a dynamic financier whose heart and assets are unfrozen. We're realists at the end of the day."
A $10,000 reward has been posted for Murdoch's capture, dead or alive.

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