Sunday, May 1, 2011

Greetings, erstwhile komrades. I bring you an urgent plea for sanity. Earlier today while on a delivery run, I saw an emaciated Nash Stillwater staggering deliriously through a vacant lot. Naturally, I pulled over and whisked him off the street. Sure he's a rival. Arguably a sworn enemy. But how could I hang on to my ego in the face of human suffering? The information I obtained before he fainted was that he hadn't eaten in over a week as a form of nonviolent protest. He is in my care now, and I am nursing him back to health with a steady regiment of white omelets. I must say that I am shocked and appalled that the apparent state of things at The Korner would drive a sentient life form to such lengths as to deprive itself of sustenance. I'm even more shocked and more appalled that Stillwater's actions seem to have fallen on deaf ears. How sedated are you people? How can you be so callous and numb to this man's plight? Granted, there will be a day in the foreseeable future when the world we know will come crumbling down around us and conventional notions of morality and decency will be scrapped for the necessity of survival, but until then we need to uphold the welfare of all beings--especially the genuinely kreative ones! I hope in earnest that you all deviate from your current heading of jaded hard-heartedness and embrace Nash as I have. Turns out he and I aren't all that different. Like me, he has an unwavering conviction for what he knows is right and the sand to express his feelings loud and clear for all to hear. I'd say I've even started to like the guy. What a capricious universe we inhabit. Anyways, this isn't a threat. Not for now. Just know that this chicanery in the name of Kreationism is an abomination and mustn't persist. More extreme measures may be necessary if you all don't shape up!

--P. Doe

No comments: