Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Help Us Help Ourselves

Good whatever-time-of-day-this-is-for-you to you. So far, 2018 has been uncharacteristically uneventful for us here at The Kreation Korer. Imagine our surprise, then, when we found the following mysterious manila envelope and an even more mysterious enclosed document on our doormat this morning:

Quite the head-scratcher. Our kwestions so far:

1. Who wrote this strange passage and why?
2. Who sent it to us and why?
3. What is "The Worrisome Truth"?
4. Where is this "waiting room?" Is it material or metaphor?
5. Who is T.G.K.? Kreationism Movement founder Thor Gustav Kreationssen?
6. Who is C.P.? Our new komptroller Crist Peoples?
7. Why is "Will" capitalized? Is Will a person? Who the hell is Will?
8. Why does this kind of shit keep happening to us?!

As you can imagine, the entire staff is currently racked with acute fear and konfusion (and maybe a little self-pity) on account of this ominous and obscure kommunique. But we must ground ourselves and not dwell in our emotions. The time for dispassionate inquiry is now. We must devote all our psychological resources to solving the problem of whether or not this is a problem, and, if it is, solving that problem. We need all the help we can get to decipher this message. We cannot take it lightly--for if this Worrisome Truth proves veracious, the entire existence of Kreation may be at stake, as outlandish as that sounds. Please send us any insights or theories you may have to aid us in bringing this worrisome chapter to a swift konklusion.

Stay Strong,
TKK Staff

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