gimme them shoes
im gonna kick you with em.
im gonna kick you cuz you stole my
wallet.
no?
you lie. im gonna kick you harder.
yes, those shoes
with the velcro.
you know i can't tie a knot.
now you made fun of me, you know what happens?
i'm gonna kick you
HARDER.
feels like shit huh?
yeah well you just
hold yer tongue. you know
what'll happen
if you don't.
-maljohn.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Poet's Korner
Finally, after a long wait, the Kreation Korner is pleased to bring you the latest poetry from your favorite wordsmith, Chris Peebles. As per always, Peebles delivers korrosive konjugations, devastating denotations and pugilistic prose. The following represents everything the Kreation Korner stands for with delicate ruthlessness. (As the de facto authority on all things Kreation Korner, we feel qualified to make this bold claim.) We hope and know you will agree. Relish:
There's no more room in my hummus-addled brain.
In one ear, out the other--just like Sister Catherine
used to say.
She was right, though--I never did amount to nothin'.
Her words were like vanilla piss searing my Venezuelan
etch-a-sketch of a heart.
Strutting in her penguin suit--it wasn't even Halloween.
Anachronism was her nature, the monkey on her shoulder.
I guess I'll leave it up to the Greeks, purveying their paste as
Zeus himself sheds tahini tears of indifferent concern.
There's no more room in my hummus-addled brain.
In one ear, out the other--just like Sister Catherine
used to say.
She was right, though--I never did amount to nothin'.
Her words were like vanilla piss searing my Venezuelan
etch-a-sketch of a heart.
Strutting in her penguin suit--it wasn't even Halloween.
Anachronism was her nature, the monkey on her shoulder.
I guess I'll leave it up to the Greeks, purveying their paste as
Zeus himself sheds tahini tears of indifferent concern.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Komik Korner
This is truly a momentous event here at the Korner. It is a rarity to have just one artist of truly kreative potential forging into new and unexplored areas of kreation, but for TWO to surface, and in the course of ONE WEEK -- well, that's the stuff that keeps us going here at KKHQ. We are proud to present to you Lee Watt, a young man whose prodigious manipulation of color, line, and wordplay has enthralled all of us here at the Korner. It gives us great pleasure to publish Part 1 in Watt's animated series, "atomic cowboy."
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Komedy Korner
Time for more Kuest highlights! During our now infamous stay in that flat, rectangular state known as Kansas, we had the rare fortune of adding a new member to the esteemed ranks of the Kreation Krew. Her name is Svetlana Mendoza, and she is a crafter of alternative jokes by trade. Typically, the Korner dismisses "jokes" as cheap, low-brow fodder for feeble-minded dunderheads. With Svetlana, however, we had to make an exception. The true Kreative energy koursing through her multi-layered, unorthodox witticisms had us all in stitches. We're just glad that she happened to wander through our encampment, also in search of kreative inspiration in the Kansasian wilderness. We have here today several of Svetlana's finest gags. We hope your reaction is both jocular and insightful. Consume:
A man with no eyes walks into a bar.
"What can I get you?" asks the barkeep.
"Got a pair of eyes?" asks the man.
"Sorry. We're clean out," says the barkeep.
So the man says, "Well, in that case I'll just have an ear."
A man and a woman are sitting on a park bench.
"What am I thinking about?" says the woman to the man.
"Sports highlights," replies the man.
"How did you know that?!?" asks the woman, stunned.
"I have ESPN," replies the man.
A lawyer, a mercenary, and a doctor all die and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter asks them, "How did each of you spend your lives?"
"I tracked down helpless car crash victims and cheated them out of thousands of dollars," replies the lawyer.
"I was hired by governments all across the world to commit despicable acts of murder," replies the mercenary.
"I illegally wrote myself prescriptions for Vicodin to fuel my ravenous narcotics addiction," replies the doctor.
"I know," says Saint Peter, "I was just trying to make small talk. Welcome to the afterlife."
A man with no eyes walks into a bar.
"What can I get you?" asks the barkeep.
"Got a pair of eyes?" asks the man.
"Sorry. We're clean out," says the barkeep.
So the man says, "Well, in that case I'll just have an ear."
A man and a woman are sitting on a park bench.
"What am I thinking about?" says the woman to the man.
"Sports highlights," replies the man.
"How did you know that?!?" asks the woman, stunned.
"I have ESPN," replies the man.
A lawyer, a mercenary, and a doctor all die and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter asks them, "How did each of you spend your lives?"
"I tracked down helpless car crash victims and cheated them out of thousands of dollars," replies the lawyer.
"I was hired by governments all across the world to commit despicable acts of murder," replies the mercenary.
"I illegally wrote myself prescriptions for Vicodin to fuel my ravenous narcotics addiction," replies the doctor.
"I know," says Saint Peter, "I was just trying to make small talk. Welcome to the afterlife."
Friday, May 23, 2008
Kansas Kommentary Korner
The following entry was recovered from Peter Doe's journal, which he kept during his retreat experience at Vision Kuest '08.
About a week ago, I was sitting in my kubicle at the Kreation Korner HQ. Of course, kubicle is somewhat of a subjective term, as it refers to the imaginary box in which I was trapped, and not an actual four-sided work environment. But I digress. As was my custom, I started my day off with a cola-flavored Slurpee and Texas toast. Sitting there, eating the same meal I'd had for the past year or so every morning like clockwork, it struck me how mundane my life had really become. Despite my life's quest, which was to maintain unbridled kreativity at all costs, I was in a rut. I needed change. As if summoned from the heavens, Chris Peebles approached during KKHQ lunch period and asked if I'd like to accompany him and other kreators on a spiritual sojourn of sorts into the remote mountains of Kansas. I nearly jumped at the chance. Here was that break from the ordinary I'd been looking for! I couldn't wait to get on my way, and the following Tuesday, there we were in the majestic Heartland of America. Ecstatic to kickstart my own kreative endeavors with a little help from the great outdoors, I learned something very quickly: camping sucks. I mean, COME ON, why are we even here? There's nothing of value here! How am I expected to entertain myself without at least a well-groomed beach volleyball pit? Where are the well-stocked bathrooms to which I've grown so accustomed in the real world? If nature can't even provide the basic necessity of double-quilted toilet paper, what kind of enlightenment am I intended to experience? As far as I'm concerned, all that nature has to offer is hopelessly eclipsed by what we humans have invented. Name me one activity in nature that can even compare to the thrills one experiences on the Knotts Berry Farm Xcelerator roller-coaster, available for the nominal price of $24.99 for a half-day or $49.99 for a full day. The one consolation in this whole crappy situation, and a reminder of wonderful, air-conditioned home, is that my team leader packed Go-gurts, which I've been hoarding for the past three days. I only hope I make it out of this with an ounce of my kreativity intact. In the meantime, I remain in the company of the worst hostess of all time: Mother Nature.
-Peter Doe
About a week ago, I was sitting in my kubicle at the Kreation Korner HQ. Of course, kubicle is somewhat of a subjective term, as it refers to the imaginary box in which I was trapped, and not an actual four-sided work environment. But I digress. As was my custom, I started my day off with a cola-flavored Slurpee and Texas toast. Sitting there, eating the same meal I'd had for the past year or so every morning like clockwork, it struck me how mundane my life had really become. Despite my life's quest, which was to maintain unbridled kreativity at all costs, I was in a rut. I needed change. As if summoned from the heavens, Chris Peebles approached during KKHQ lunch period and asked if I'd like to accompany him and other kreators on a spiritual sojourn of sorts into the remote mountains of Kansas. I nearly jumped at the chance. Here was that break from the ordinary I'd been looking for! I couldn't wait to get on my way, and the following Tuesday, there we were in the majestic Heartland of America. Ecstatic to kickstart my own kreative endeavors with a little help from the great outdoors, I learned something very quickly: camping sucks. I mean, COME ON, why are we even here? There's nothing of value here! How am I expected to entertain myself without at least a well-groomed beach volleyball pit? Where are the well-stocked bathrooms to which I've grown so accustomed in the real world? If nature can't even provide the basic necessity of double-quilted toilet paper, what kind of enlightenment am I intended to experience? As far as I'm concerned, all that nature has to offer is hopelessly eclipsed by what we humans have invented. Name me one activity in nature that can even compare to the thrills one experiences on the Knotts Berry Farm Xcelerator roller-coaster, available for the nominal price of $24.99 for a half-day or $49.99 for a full day. The one consolation in this whole crappy situation, and a reminder of wonderful, air-conditioned home, is that my team leader packed Go-gurts, which I've been hoarding for the past three days. I only hope I make it out of this with an ounce of my kreativity intact. In the meantime, I remain in the company of the worst hostess of all time: Mother Nature.
-Peter Doe
Sunday, May 18, 2008
More Retreat Revelations!
It has been a veritable madhouse within the Kreation Korner HQ these past weeks, as any and all available staff members have been working around the clock to document the nonstop kreative outbursts of those Korner Kontributors returning from what has now been named Vision Kuest '08. Now surely, all of you in the world-wide peanut gallery have been thirsting, yearning even, for all sorts of new kreation. Well, fret not, young kreationists. Now that all kreations have been successfully digitized and logged into the KKDB (Kreation Korner DataBase), we are finally ready to post the unabridged kreations of Vision Kuest '08. Percy Stankowski's post was only a small taste. Buckle your seat belts, folks.
This piece, kreated by Howard Fork, is highly conceptual and will likely be inaccessible to many. However, concentrate on it for a while, and you just might discover the deeper meaning lying within this seemingly arbitrary combination of the various materials that can be found within the hills of Kansas. Here's what the artist had to say:
"At first I was completely lost up there in the mountains. I'd wake up saying to myself, 'Where are my magic markers? My horse-hair paintbrushes? What about my beach ball?' And it was on the third day that I realized, wow, this is really happening. And that's what brought about this kreation. At that point I'd been completely separated from the group and I think subconsciously I was really aching for familiarity. And I think an abstract kernel of that desire can be found in this work, which took about two days to kreate, from concept development to finished product."
This piece, kreated by Howard Fork, is highly conceptual and will likely be inaccessible to many. However, concentrate on it for a while, and you just might discover the deeper meaning lying within this seemingly arbitrary combination of the various materials that can be found within the hills of Kansas. Here's what the artist had to say:
"At first I was completely lost up there in the mountains. I'd wake up saying to myself, 'Where are my magic markers? My horse-hair paintbrushes? What about my beach ball?' And it was on the third day that I realized, wow, this is really happening. And that's what brought about this kreation. At that point I'd been completely separated from the group and I think subconsciously I was really aching for familiarity. And I think an abstract kernel of that desire can be found in this work, which took about two days to kreate, from concept development to finished product."
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Percy Speaks!
As promised, the Kreation Korner is proud to present the first of many new entries kreated during and inspired by our sacred sojourn into the wild. But first, a cursory warning: the discoveries we have made will undoubtedly be disturbing to some. Others may not even see the kreations plainly presented in front of them because those very kreations are entirely contradictory to their own safe, stale viewpoints. But for those who can appreciate our revelations, bask in the glory of their inexorable truth. The first entry comes from Percy Stankowski, whose usual dedication to the moving image was shaken through the course of our quest. During his personal turmoil, he decided to use the written word, simple but powerful, to express himself.
Yeah. Give me something to drink.
I had been stuck in this goddamn desert for forty days. Or forty years. It's hard to tell time once the radiation's turned your brain to low-fat cherry Jell-O.
Give me something to drink.
I repeated myself to the grotesque baby-man standing in front of me. His skin reminded me of tapioca pudding. I hate tapioca.
I'm thirsty, give me a fucking drink.
I was getting impatient. Delirium had set in and I was thirsty enough to drink my own piss. Don't think I hadn't tried.
Pepsi OK?
The tapioca man held up a cardboard cup named Pepsi. It said so on the cup.
I want Coke. Fuck off.
The tapioca baby-man died of lupus and I continued on, in search of more lies.
Yeah. Give me something to drink.
I had been stuck in this goddamn desert for forty days. Or forty years. It's hard to tell time once the radiation's turned your brain to low-fat cherry Jell-O.
Give me something to drink.
I repeated myself to the grotesque baby-man standing in front of me. His skin reminded me of tapioca pudding. I hate tapioca.
I'm thirsty, give me a fucking drink.
I was getting impatient. Delirium had set in and I was thirsty enough to drink my own piss. Don't think I hadn't tried.
Pepsi OK?
The tapioca man held up a cardboard cup named Pepsi. It said so on the cup.
I want Coke. Fuck off.
The tapioca baby-man died of lupus and I continued on, in search of more lies.
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