We are writing today to withdraw incendiary allegations we posted yesterday about the nefarious engravings of a shadowy kreation konspiracy. To put it vulgarly, we fucked up. Information from the HQ's own janitor has shed light on what has turned out to be far less grave a situation with almost no implications of smoke-filled rooms and impending global doom. Although we here at The Korner strive for perfection, try as we might, we just can't bat better than .900. But there's a tangy pimento lesson to be learned in this brown, shriveled olive of a misstep: we must always be vigilant, especially in light of what some of the more radical elements of us view as the imminent Kreation day of reckoning. Thanks for your patience and understanding and please read the following personal statement to bring closure to our faux pas:
I was in the cement game back in the 80s. Boy, I tell ya, that was a wild time for sidewalks--the blow, the Member's Only jackets, the grunge music--maybe that was the 90s. It all blurs together. Anyways, the year's 1987. I'm in Caldwell, I.D. The Dirty C. It was the hottest summer that year, and I was with I, P, T, O, L, C & B Construction. Damn, we must've laid 3 miles of sidewalk in a day. As such, I saw it fit to commemorate a job well done, so I traced my initials--"EW"--into the wet concrete. Above it, I inscribed "KK" in honor of my favorite recording artist, Kris Kristofferson. His duets with Rita Coolidge got me through a tough time after the rest of my crew perished in the Wilder Overpass Disaster of '81. So there ya have it, folks. You should see what I carved on the Barrier Reef during my underwater welding days. But that's another story for another time.
PS: To whoever stole my mop--April Fool's day was like 11 months ago. Give it back! The floor's only getting filthier, so joke's on you.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
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