Where would we be without dissenting voices? If you ask Peter Doe, we’d be observing a government-mandated curfew somewhere in Red China. But such konjecture is kounterproductive. The fact is, we at The Korner don’t know all the answers. We know most of them, but not all. To think we are perfect would be the height of arrogance and would kompromise our kreative kredibility. As the old saying goes, “humility is the mother of invention.” To that end, here’s some konstructive kriticism from our own Nash Stillwater. Konsider:
Not to sound like a suck-up, but our benefactor Chas Murdoch is right to raise an eyebrow at our prodigious use of elicit substances. I know the prevailing stance of TKK is that said substances are necessary, nay required, for the kreative process to occur. Those more radical among us would go as far to fancy themselves as shamans, selflessly losing themselves in the embrace of hallucinogenic oblivion so as to lead their fellow man to higher states of kreative konsciousness. But what nobody seems to consider are the negative effects of our excess. Remember the time a mescaline-addled Stankowski thought Snappy Tom’s derringer was his inhaler? Thank Odin it wasn’t loaded! Or the time GRECH had an acid flashback whilst performing an emergency tracheotomy on maljohn? And let’s not forget the countless gastric algal blooms we’ve all suffered as a result of those fertilizer confections we ingest regularly in the name of Kreation. What I’m getting at here is that we can be just as kreative without the copious use of mind-altering chemicals. I’ve been on the wagon for three weeks now, and I tell you, it’s a trip! The other day I saw a sunset. A real sunset. Not just the paisley hippo undulating in the sky I’ve become so accustomed to seeing. And you know what--I got the same kreative jolt out of it as I would’ve from four short-stacks of phosphate-laced flapjacks. To conclude, I just want to encourage us all to put aside the psilocybin mushroom and take up the shiitake of unaided sensory experience. Our physical health, well-being and--most importantly--our kreativity depend on it.