Thursday, April 7, 2011

Ask Peter

Even though Peter Doe has literally moved on to greener pastures, we figure it would be nice to check in via an underutilized feature. Plus, he technically owes us another post before his kontract formally expires at the end of the month. Anyways, it’s been about a month since we laid our iniquities upon him and sent him into the wilderness. Despite the rigors of the neo-agrarian lifestyle, his response is as kaustic as ever. Nice to know the old Doe paddle steamer is still chugging along. Peruse:

Dear Peter,
How’s it hangin’?
Kurious Kontributors in Boise, ID

Dear Kontributors,
Holy shit, what a great question! Getting three words from you folks is a real treat. Sarcasm aside, I must say I don’t miss the Korner. What fanfare did I get on my departure? Just an untitled post with the usual glib, incoherent language. I didn’t even get a “don’t hit your ass on the beaded door covering” as I packed up my desk. You know, it’s actually refreshing to know how truly under-appreciated I was. I don’t need the Korner. I face new challenges daily. My day starts at 3:55 am. I’ve had my coffee and read my paper before sunup. Hell, I wake the rooster up! But it doesn’t end there. I’m responsible for every aspect of my egg business: caring for the animals, harvesting and packing the product, delivery, bookkeeping and updating the ol’ Twitter account daily. I wear a vast assortment of hats. And it’s tough work. 12 hens produce more eggs than you’d think. But if there's one thing I learned in the joint it's how to endure hardship. In spite of 16-hour days of backbreaking labor, I feel more fulfilled than ever. My life has become one of discipline, contemplation and productiveness. I’m living Kreation. You goddamn assholes in Boise are just a bunch of talk.

No comments: