Saturday, June 24, 2017

Benchmarks the spot

It's been over three months since we've heard any news about the impending Boise Bench redevelopment. That's because very little has happened, thanks to bureaucratic inertia. Who knew that oft-bemoaned procedure-obcessed government functionaries would be our saviors, at least for the time being? While Chas Murdoch's gross incompetence in navigating the political terrain of property development hasn't done much to move things along either, it remains a matter of "when" not "if" the ultimate rubber stamp will be depressed. We must continue to transcend our righteous emotional tumult to employ any and all practical strategies and tactics* in our power to work towards justice for The Bench and its inhabitants. In the spirit of this policy, we present to you today a leaked transcription of a recent Bench project team meeting lead by Murdoch Organization underboss Hart Packard. It seems to be some sort of a pep talk Packard delivered at the dreaded company's head office in Three Spankbancorp Plaza to the various family members and un-qualified opportunists who compose Murdoch's inner circle. It's thin on anything resembling action items, but it's essential for us to keep abreast of as much information on the enemy as possible, even if such information's application will not be revealed until a later date. Heads up:

Look at this team Chas couldn't be here he's between the third and forth hole but wanted me to express how proud he is of this team none of that insider knowledge none of that innovation-stifling experience you are all fresh and new with that outside perspective ready to re-invent the wheel ready to disrupt the development game that game has needed disrupting for some time let me tell you and this little team is the team to do it this team can do a lot with a little this team can be the envy of the industry this team is the best team I've ever worked on I really mean that this team this little team will really surprise the other guys the big guys will take notice they'll know us this team can do will do is doing is already doing great things this little team is all ready to do big things because it's nimble it's agile we can out-maneuver the big guys the big guys are aircraft carriers try pulling a u-turn in one of of those babies they're battleships we're point guards all we need is 18 inches of daylight I really think we have a play here really honestly I think we can win this little team our shop can move at the speed of business and the big guys can't I have big ideas for this little team this little team this team is destined for glory I mean it we're just a nine iron shot from victory.

*So far, we've inundated relevent public officials via all known communication channels, and even over-stayed our welcomes at their places of work, to make known the plight of low-to-moderate income Bench dwellers, but feel we are, at best, being paid lip service and at worst, ignored. We welcome suggestions for new approaches. Please slide best practices under the door of the HQ. 

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