Kommune Update

Today we sit down with chief designer of the new Kreation Korner Kommune, Steve Adore.


KK: So Steve, how’d you land this gig?

SA: Well, a few months ago I was walking through Downtown Boise when out of nowhere I was hit by a flying spoonful of oatmeal. Boy, was I steamed! But I soon learned it was part of a performance piece by GRECH, and, true patron of the arts that I am, I decided to take part. In between hurling assorted breakfast foodstuffs at passersby just begging for kreative enlightenment, GRECH and I got to talking about the sorry state of the KKHQ. When she mentioned that they were looking to relocate, I jumped at the chance to aid in any way that I could.

KK: The Kreation Korner is practically in the business of mind-, body-, and soul-blowing. Naturally, such tendencies must have a space in which to be brought to fruition. What special challenges did you find in designing the new Kommune?

SA: I went into it with mindset that I was designing this place basically for children – lots of soft padding on corners, safety glass, etc. So, erm, yes, what I did before laying out my floor plan was to imagine a group of large, potentially overweight toddlers on a constant collision course with kreativity. And while kreativity can certainly be enlightening, it also poses the very real risk of bodily injury.

As for seating, lots of bean bags. This way, during the next feast of fertilizer pancakes or whatever, the Krew has nothing to do but sit their asses down and focus on the matter at hand, whatever that might be.

And, of course, to keep one’s mind and soul limber and sufficiently blown, one must also attend to one’s body. So naturally, there’s a toilet.

KK: Now that the work is all wrapped up, will you be sticking around the Kommune or moving onto other projects?

SA: I don’t expect this place to last long without my ongoing supervision. Did you see what they did to the last place?

Lately, The Korner has been inundated with korrespondences in every imaginable format. Our mailboxes are full--both electronic and snail, our pigeon holes are bottlenecked and the telegraph machine literally blew up. What does everyone want to know (other than what Howard Fork smells like)? They want to see the face of the workaday life of professional Kreationists. For our loyal followers who live in parts afar, we've learned that it's difficult for them to visualize and relate to the kreative life here in Boise's Little Novgorod district. Try as we might to push the limits of written language, one thousand words isn't worth a picture. As such, we bring you today the first in what we hope will be a series of photo essays vividly illustrating the places we live and work in the ongoing effort to deliver our brand of kutting edge Kreationistic kontent. Feast your eyes:

This image is of the now infamous Kreation Korner HQ. Akwired in late 2007, the HQ has served as the nerve center of the Kreationism movement ever since and is a class B office space. Although many of our kreative kapacities of have relocated to the kommune, the HQ retains all administrative functions.


Home sweet home! This handsome structure is the new kommune that has been causing quite the stir amongst our readers as of late. Since settling the property in July, we've been attaining new benchmarks in kreativity daily. Think of it as a barracks for soldiers in the Kreation Kause.


Here's an extra treat. This is Union Credit, the credit union where The Korner does virtually all of its banking. UC's responsive, down-to-earth staff belies the mysteriousness of the building's outlandish design. It is the only structure of its kind on General Westmoreland Blvd and one of very few planet-wide.

Displacement Korner

One month without a new post--easily the longest dry-spell in Kreation Korner history. But we are well justified in this deficiency. We're not a bunch of shiftless assholes. As you know, our rogue, sentient computer--which has dubbed itself APEKS--does what it wants, when it wants. Early in April, APEKS decided to patch into our environmental systems and flood both the HQ and Kommune with a lethal mixture of nitrous oxide and generic windex. Our best guess is that the cold logic of the machine's malevolent circuits deemed us imperfect biological entities who served only as obstructions to the advancement of pure kreativity. Luckily, we managed to escape with our lives--although Tum Cruz was legally dead for nearly three minutes and came to with a hitherto unknown talent for chainsaw sculptures. During the past several weeks, we endeavored to make our voice heard in the blogosphere, but the WiFi at Tsarbucks is wack, if you'll pardon the techno-babble. Additionally, the psychological trauma of being expelled from one's own korner often proved incapacitating. But now the toxic atmospheres have dispersed, and it's time to reclaim our lost month in the name of Kreation. APEKS seems dormant for now, but we'll sleep with both eyes open from now on just in case.

Shiny Happy People

The start of a new year is a time for purification, to rinse off the accumulated grime and start fresh in a shower of new beginnings. Why, just this morning we did this very thing (metaphorically, more or less) at our first annual second-day-of-the-year brunch bash. We clapped ourselves and each other on the back as we reflected upon storms weathered and new summits of kreative expression surmounted almost regularly during our tenure as inhabitants of the blogosphere. The needle was unceremoniously jerked from the long-playing record of our self-congratulation, however, when maljohn took the brainiac notion to stream Netflix on the projector we had pointed at an exterior wall of the kommune.  The film was called 2012 and, in addition to being perhaps the most eschatological of John Cusack's oeuvre, proved to be a chilling, action packed prophecy of catastrophic events to occur this year. Suffice it to say, we're all a bit freaked out. Is this blockbuster indeed a bellwether of things to come in 2012? Were the natural disasters and social strife of 2011 a mere prelude to the final days of reckoning for humankind? Or will the culmination of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar this next December represent the dawn of a new era of universal kamaraderie and klarity? Most of us are hoping for the latter, but in either case the world will need Kreation more than ever in the coming months. All we can do now is stand tall and dutifully advance The Kause.

Best wishes,
The Kreation Korner Staff          

Korrespondence Korner

Merry Retail Death Match Day to you all! We here at the Kommune just awoke from a group turchiaroni koma to find the following letter from none other than Gabe Garbiel. Although things finally seem to have stabilized without our resident archivist-cum-documentarian-cum-everyman, there remains a hole in the heart of our organization. As you'll read, however, Gabe may well be with us again very soon. With any luck, he'll be carving the tempehloin roast on the feast day of Santo Kreato next month! Take in:

Kommune Korner

We apologize for the konspicuous lack of new kontent as of late. As we quickly discovered during the past several weeks, it's awfully difficult to kreate when you're up to your adam's apple in moving boxes. That's right, the Korner Krew has put a down payment on new communal lodgings! Our new kreationist's loft is situated a stone's throw and several hundred feet from the HQ--easily within walking or penny-farthing distance. From what we can tell, our domicile is some sort of former light industrial space. It's a fixer-upper for sure, but we've managed to partition the two forward loading bays into well-appointed kwarters and repurpose the defunct break room into a makeshift kitchen. All in all, it's the perfect rough-n-tumble, derelict setting to inspire kreativity. Plus, it has access to a railroad siding for all of our shipping and receiving needs--so no complaints there. As the new saying goes: "a family that lives together and works together, kreates together."

Photos not yet available. Turns out you have to develop film before exposing it to direct sunlight. Live and learn. Stay tuned!

On The Bench

It is with trepidatious hearts that we bring you what is undoubtedly the latest chapter in an unfortunate story we've observed unfolding in our immediate surroundings. You may recall a a post from August 2012 in which we decried the appearance of possible harbingers of redevelopment on our beloved Bench. Today, we regret to inform you that new information has come to light--information that far transcends mere portentousness and demonstrates that the kommodification of our neighborhood by growth machinists is imminent. We came by this knowledge when our own Damien Melange, though in sanctuary at the Surinamese consulate on Boise's swanky Embassy Row, hacked the following korrespondance from a data center in the American Southwest early this morning:

Our immediate reaction, other than confusion at the letter's excessive and alienating use of jargon, was one of horror at the realization that new development is coming down the pipeline right under our sniffers. One would think that as long-time residents of the Bench our input on these drastic measures would be valued. But our elected and appointed leaders didn't even so much as email us a Poll Primate questionnaire! We know now that "EUCLID" stands for "Emerald Urban Corridor Local Improvement District", but would assuredly still be in the dark if we didn't have an informant in the Planning & Zoning office. Clearly, our supposedly incorruptible city government is kolluding with this Hart Packard scumbag to refashion our enclave as the tony Emerald Urban Corridor, probably to make it more "livable"--whatever that means. How brazen it is to think one can actually make a place!

Map by Hadley Daughterson. Satellite base layer kourtesy of Google Maps

As this discovery has sunk in over the hours here at the HQ, our feelings have grown surprisingly divided. On one end of the spectrum, there are those kontributors among us who believe that preservation of the Bench, the very seat of Kreationism, in its present state is vital to maintaining a coherent Kause here and in the Kreative diaspora around the world.  maljohn, for instance, has taken advantage of the unseasonably clement weather of late and chained himself to a vacant lot across the street in protest of any and all revitalization projects that would threaten our ancestral homeland, so to speak. Another kamp at the Korner, composed mostly of the younger generation, seems to be of the mind that humanity is rapidly entering a post-spatial age in which kranial implants will allow us to interface to a fully virtual existence a la the Wachowskis' Matrix franchise. Needless to say, their feelings on the very physical HQ and Kommune are "meh". Wherever any one of us stands, time waits for no Kreationist and we've all resolved to remain stoic and vigilant as Packard's malevolent timetables loom nearer. Stay tuned for more, if any, Bench redevelopment updates.